- Brock Samson: After the twist, you'll hear a snap. Then the body goes ragdoll on ya.
- Hank Venture: And that will knock him out... even more?
- Brock Samson: That'll kill him.
- Hank Venture: Do I have to?
- Brock Samson: Alright fine, crybaby. Just tie him up and, maybe I guess gag him. But at the first sign of trouble I want you to at least break both his knees
- Ghost Pirate 1: We need that key that starts your boat Mr. Big Stuff, let's have it?
- Brock Samson: It's up my ass.
- Ghost Pirate 2: Are you serious?
- Brock Samson: Why don't you check?
- Ghost Pirate 2: Well, check.
- Ghost Pirate 1: What if he's lying?
- Ghost Pirate 2: If he were telling the truth, that would be better?
- Pirate 1: [to Brock who is chained up] We need that key that starts your boat Mr Big Stuff, let's have it.
- Brock Samson: It's up my ass.
- Pirate 2: Are you serious?
- Brock Samson: Why don't you check?
- Pirate 2: [to Pirate 1] Well. Check.
- Pirate 1: [to Pirate 2] What if he's lying?
- Pirate 2: [to Pirate 1] If he were telling the truth, that would be better?
- Brock Samson: Whatever you do, Hank, don't light a cigarette. A good sniper can see a hot cherry for miles.
- Hank Venture: Brock, I don't smoke.
- Brock Samson: Good. Now's a lousy time to start.
- Ghost Pirate 1: [Watching Brock beat up the fake Ghost Pirate] Oh my God, he's gettin' his ass kicked! We gotta save him!
- Ghost Pirate 2: Are you kiddin'? My sword's made of cardboard.
- Pirate Captain: Enough!
- Pirate Captain: [Everyone stops fighting] Get off that man before he kills the hole lot'o'ye.
- Pirate Captain: [Holding Dean as a shield at gunpoint] I don't think he wants to see what his child is made of.
- [Overcorrecting himself]
- Pirate Captain: I mean, what he's really made of, not like a test of his mettle...
- Brock Samson: [Interrupting] We heard you the first time...
- Pirate Captain: [Interrupting] Silence! Your insolence will not be tolerated... again.
- [Motioning to the fake Ghost Pirate lying motionless on the deck]
- Pirate Captain: Hey, is that guy dead?
- Brock Samson: Yeah, probably.
- Pirate Captain: [Irritated] Oh, c'mon! Was that necessary? Really?
- Dean Venture: Your plan was almost flawless, only, that's no ghost...
- Pirate Captain: [Sarcastically] Oh, ya' think, genius. What was it that tipped ya' off, brainiac? Was it the rubber mask; maybe the huge zipper?
- [to Brock]
- Pirate Captain: But you had to go and kill 'im anyway. If you'd a played by the rules, the Ghost Pirate rules, none of this would have happened! But, no, you had to go and kill a guy.