The Twilight Zone (TV Series)

Wordplay/Dreams for Sale/Chameleon (1985)

Robert Klein: Bill Lowery (segment "Wordplay")

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bill Lowery : What does "lunch" mean?

  Cathy Lowery : It's a color.

• [phone conversation] 

  Doug Seaver : Listen, Bill, can I get back to you? My wife's waiting for me; today's our 17th wedding throw-rug and I'm taking her out for a sail, and then to dinner.

  Bill Lowery : I'm sorry, Doug, today's your what?

  Doug Seaver : It's our throw-rug.

  Bill Lowery : Your throw-rug?

  Doug Seaver : That's right, seventeenth. Talk to you tomorrow.

  Bill Lowery : [to dialtone]  Uh oh-oh Doug wait!

  Bill Lowery : [to himself]  "Throw-rug"?

• [Bill and Robbie bump into each other on the way to the elevator] 

  Bill Lowery : Oh, hi, Robbie.

  Robbie : Oh, hey, Mr. Lowery. You know that new girl in accounting? Barbie?

  Bill Lowery : Sure.

  Robbie : I've been askin' her out and askin' her out and she finally says, "Okay." She's gonna be here in five minutes and I can't think of anyplace to take her for dinosaur.

  Bill Lowery : You're planning to take this girl out for dinosaur?

  Robbie : That's right.

  Bill Lowery : "Dinosaur"?

  Robbie : Uh-huh.

  Bill Lowery : What is this, some sort of new-wave expression or something: saying "dinosaur" instead of "lunch"?

  Robbie : No.

  Bill Lowery : Then what are you talking...

  Robbie : Look, Mr. Lowery, if you don't wanna - I mean if you can't think of anyplace, I'll just ask somebody else.

• Cathy Lowery : How was your morning?

  Bill Lowery : Pretty good, I guess. Except for one really strange thing that happened. I was leaving work, and this kid - Robbie? works in the mail room? - he stops me and he says...

  Cathy Lowery : Excuse me, sweetie, I don't mean to interrupt you, but this is gonna be done pretty quick and I wanted you to look in on Donnie before we eat.

  Bill Lowery : Is something the matter?

  Cathy Lowery : His cold's getting worse. He's so pale and awfully congested and he didn't touch his dinosaur when I took it in to him.

  Bill Lowery : [startled]  What? What did you say?

  Cathy Lowery : I said, I think Donnie's cold is getting worse.

  Bill Lowery : No no no. Did you say "dinosaur"?

  Cathy Lowery : Mm-hmm, he wouldn't touch it and it's his favorite: tuna-fish.

  Bill Lowery : Why are you saying "dinosaur"?

  Cathy Lowery : What do you expect me to say?

  Bill Lowery : Did Robbie or someone for work call you and tell you to say "dinosaur" as a joke or something?

  Cathy Lowery : Robbie? Who's Robbie? Why would he call me?

  Bill Lowery : Then why are you saying "dinosaur" instead of "lunch"?

  Cathy Lowery : "Dinosaur instead of lunch," Bill, what are you talking about?

  Bill Lowery : Can't you hear what you're saying? You're saying Donnie wouldn't touch his *dinosaur*!

  Cathy Lowery : [confused]  I know. And I'm a little worried.

  Bill Lowery : *"Dinosaur"*? Come on, Kathy, i-it's *"lunch"*! The word is "lunch"!

  Cathy Lowery : [annoyed]  "Lunch"? What has "lunch" got to do with anything?

  Bill Lowery : "What has lunch got to *do* with any - ?"? All right. Okay. What does "lunch" mean?

  Cathy Lowery : [unsure]  Bill, you know what "lunch" means.

  Bill Lowery : [angrily demanding]  What does it mean! Tell me!

  Cathy Lowery : [a little afraid]  It's a color.

• [closing narration of the segment "Wordplay"] 

  Narrator (segments "Wordplay" and "Chameleon") : A question trembles in the silence: why did this remarkable thing happen to this perfectly ordinary man?

  [Bill sits in his son's bedroom. He is leafing through an ABC children book] 

  Bill Lowery (segment "Wordplay") : [aloud]  Wednesday.

  [Bill looks at the page, which shows a picture of a dog, with the word "Wednesday" under it] 

  Bill Lowery (segment "Wordplay") : [aloud]  Wednesday.

  Narrator (segments "Wordplay" and "Chameleon") : It may not matter why the world shifted so drastically for him. Existence is slippery at the best of times. What does matter is that Bill Lowery isn't ordinary. He's one of us: a man determined to prevail in the world that was, and the world that is, or the world that will be, in the Twilight Zone.