Trailer Park Boys (TV Series) If I Can't Smoke and Swear. I'm Fucked (2003) User Reviews

the boys set up a gas-stealing and selling ring in the trailer park, as randy and lahey try to figure out what the illegal activity is

[claireabelle321 · 10/10 · 20 July 2006]

this episode is really funny, because lahey and randy are trying to figure out what these "hair perm" coupons are for (really for stolen gas). when lahey and randy go to sarah and lucy, expecting prostitution or something, they end up with actual hair perms. lol...

also, the scene in the courtroom, where ricky actually uses the line "if i cant smoke and swear, i'm f*cked" is priceless. ricky is allowed to smoke in court and swear as much as he wants, because its "in his rights" to represent himself to the best of his ability. watch ricky work his magic with the judge, then call the prosecutor a "f*cking d*ck" and take his last cigarette...fun times and the way corey and trevor are set up is very amusing as well.

The show at its absolute best.

[steveakazed · 10/10 · 10 October 2017]

IMO this is by far the best episode of the series. The characters are all on point, the plot is great, the dialogue is hilarious. It's definitely one of the best episodes to show someone who has never seen the show, as this episode shows off each character's personality and their relationships with each other perfectly. Quality Rickyisms in the courtroom scene. Hilarious Cory & Trevor scene where Trevor jukes a security guard after getting caught stealing gas. Perfect ending as well.

Canada's most vulgar

[Seras11123 · 9/10 · 18 February 2021]

As others have noted, a high standard for the season and maybe series thus far. For the first time onscreen, we see all main criminals together on trial and each contributes something. Everybody has their own moment and a terrific use of an ensemble cast (not that the show already isn't). While the crimes leading up to them are funny and wild, the court case is just as bonkers. Ricky represents himself, and all the while smokes and cusses like a sailor. No real court would proceed like this but it does in the never boring TPB universe. We get some great dark humor like Trinity smoking. And it's nice to see the boys win against their legal ailments for once.

You Can't Smoke with the Patch On!

[scottsetchell · 2 December 2018]

Trinity is hooked on cigarettes again and Ricky decides to quit smoking with her and go on the patch. They try to start the car and it's out of gas so Ricky syphons gas from Lahey's car.

Julian comes up with a plan to do small crimes and open up semi-legit businesses. The goal is to work towards a cruise at the end of the year with the money they save. The first scheme is setting up a gas station in the trailer park.

Once Lahey finds out his gas has been stolen, he and Randy start setting up video cameras to catch them in the act. Lucy and Sarah hand out perm coupons as a cover for the gas station. Lahey and Randy go into the salon and get perms.

Ricky, Bubbles and Trinity go to the store for patches. Ricky pulls out his gun and lays it on the counter and the attendant assumes he's robbing the store. Trinity accidentally fires off the gun and Bubbles sees they're on video tape. Ricky decides to rob the store once he sees they're being recorded.

Lucy and Sarah warn them about Lahey and the cameras. Randy pulls up and asks for gas and Cory and Trevor take the money and admit to stealing gas. Ricky gets dizzy from smoking with the patch on, falls down and causes a car to to explode.

They are all taken to court, Ricky fired the public defender and convinces the judge to smoke and swear. Ricky breaks down the video evidence that shows Cory and Trevor taking the money and admitting to stealing gas. Ricky, Julian, Bubbles and J-Roc are found not guilty. Cory and Trevor are sentenced to 450 hours community service.

This is another one of my all-time favorite episodes. Bubbles warns Ricky many times about smoking with the patch on and that's what ends up causing them to shut down the gas station. It's hilarious to see the prosecutor give up his last smokes and lose the case to Ricky. He's an outsider thrown into a world he never thought could exist.