- Jackie Burkhardt: No offense, Eric, but your sister is as slutty as they come.
- Michael Kelso: Eric, would you let her talk about your sister like that?
- Eric: Sure.
- Laurie Forman: So, look at us. This is just like a Norman Rockwell painting. Mom is serving breakfast, Daddy is reading the newspaper and brother Eric is trying to hide a big, purple, nasty hickey.
- Eric: [nervously covering his neck] What hickey? I don't have a hickey!
- Laurie Forman: Y'know, Eric, hickeys lead to dirty things.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: For God's sake, don't let Donna suck your neck. She's a nice girl.
- Eric: I don't have a hickey. I was using a curling iron.
- Kitty Forman: [investigating Eric's neck, then rubbing it with her finger] Oh, well, will you just look at that.
- Eric: [mortified] No, Mom!
- Kitty Forman: Red, remember that time...
- Reginald "Red" Forman: No. And neither do you.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Well, I just wish that more teachers cared about their students like you do. I think it all started going downhill when you couldn't paddle the kids anymore.
- Eric: [Eric laughs] Pansy-ass Supreme Court.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Shut up.
- Steven Hyde: [irritatedly, as Laurie appears to win a round] This is completely unsatisfactory! In fact...
- [points at Eric]
- Steven Hyde: YOU SUCK!