- Michael Kelso: [laughs] Why is Hyde kissing Jackie?
- [He looks back at Donna, who's running her hand through her hair]
- Michael Kelso: What the hell? He's dead!
- [He slams the beer can on the kitchen counter and starts pulling on the sliding door, unable to open it]
- Donna Pinciotti: Kelso...
- Michael Kelso: They're getting away! What is wrong with this thing?
- Eric Forman: It's against my better judgment, but...
- [flips the latch]
- Michael Kelso: Thank you. Now, Hyde's really dead!
- Michael Kelso: [Kelso walks into the screen door] Well, that's invisible!
- Eric Forman: Mom, I'm really sorry. I know how much you wanted a baby. I'm not sure what to say, mainly because I don't really know what menopause is. Are you going to lose your hair?
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Shut up, she's not losing anything. From time to time, a woman's body... Kitty, explain it to the boy.
- Bea Sigurdson: I'm just going to get some orange juice.
- Eric Forman: Mom, maybe you should talk to Grandma about this.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Yeah, we're just a couple of ignoramuses!
- Kitty Forman: Go!
- Eric Forman: [as they're leaving] Is it... Is it a "lady parts" thing?
- Reginald "Red" Forman: We'll look it up in the World Book.
- Eric Forman: Okay, Donna, we need to stabilize him. We're gonna need pudding, and lots of it.
- Michael Kelso: [getting up] Who chooses a chick over a friend?
- Eric Forman: What? Come on, Kelso, remember when you made me walk home in a blizzard because you wanted ten extra minutes with Pam Macy?
- Michael Kelso: I didn't steal Pam Macy from you, and you could've played in the snow until we were done.
- Donna Pinciotti: Jackie wanted to get married and you bailed. Now, she *doesn't* want to marry you. That solves your problem, albeit with a disturbing twist ending.
- Michael Kelso: I'm kicking Hyde's ass!
- Eric Forman: Kelso, you couldn't open my kitchen door.
- Michael Kelso: [Kelso's wearing goggles] Get my eye now!
- [Hyde kicks Kelso in the shin, then pins him to the couch]
- Michael Kelso: Get off me!
- Steven Hyde: Not until you calm down!
- Fez: [after giving Kelso a "Wet Willy"] Ah, a wet one!
- Michael Kelso: Fez, I'm going to get free eventually and then I'm going to kick your ass!
- Steven Hyde: We need to settle this.
- Michael Kelso: I don't want to settle this! I don't want to talk about it! All I want to do is pound you until you feel as bad as I do!
- Steven Hyde: [getting up] Fine. Hit me. Free shot.
- Michael Kelso: [getting up] Are you gonna hit me back?
- Steven Hyde: No, man. That's why they call it a "free shot".
- Michael Kelso: [in a stance] Here it comes. It's coming, get ready!
- Fez: We're ready, fool, do it!
- Michael Kelso: Forget it. It's not going to change anything. Just, forget it.
- [Kelso sits down on the couch]
- Steven Hyde: Look, man. I didn't plan this thing with me and Jackie. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
- Donna Pinciotti: [same time as Fez] Awwww!
- Fez: [same time as Donna] Awwww!
- Steven Hyde: Get bent!
- Michael Kelso: What are we going to do now?
- Donna Pinciotti: [getting up] I'll tell you what you're going to do! You're going to shake, and you're going to get over it!
- Michael Kelso: No!
- Donna Pinciotti: Shake!
- Michael Kelso: I don't want to!
- Donna Pinciotti: *Shake*!
- [Kelso and Hyde shake hands]