Helene Udy credited as playing...
Pel
- Zyree: If you really want 100,000 vats of tulaberry wine, I can put you in touch with the right people - for a price, of course.
- Quark: Of course! I always said, you were my favorite Dosi. Now, um... who do we have to see?
- Zyree: The Karemma.
- Pel: Who is the Karemma?
- Zyree: An important power in the Dominion.
- Quark: In the Dominion? What's that?
- Zyree: Let's just say, if you want to do business in the Gamma Quadrant, you have to do business with the Dominion.
- Pel: Tell us, Zyree, what is this place?
- Zyree: This, this is where opportunities are made.
- Quark: Really? I thought it was some kind of party.
- Zyree: Then you thought wrong. This is all about profit, and like the Ferengi, the Dosi are very serious when it comes to profit.
- [a Dosi is shot by another before their eyes]
- Zyree: *Very* serious...
- Pel: [Pel has entered the room where the Grand Nagus, Rom and Quark are dining with the intent of revealing her identity as a female. Quark and Rom are nervous] So... You like my lobes?
- Quark: [nervously] Pel...?
- Zek: [a little confused] Uh... Yes, I do.
- Pel: [indignant] Good! Then you can have them!
- [Pel rips off her false lobes, revealing her small ears]
- Quark: [shouts as he jumps forward and covers Pel's ears with his hands; over the Nagus's screaming] NO!
- Zek: [Screaminging in horror] OOOHH! It's a female!
- Rom: Does that mean I get the bar?
- Quark: [through his teeth] Rom. Out!
- [Quark kicks Rom out of the room]
- Zek: [enraged] Quark, this is outrageous! Now, what is going on here?
- Quark: [stuttering] Well, I-I-I...
- Pel: [standing in front of Quark protectively] Leave him out of this!
- Zek: You *dare* give me orders!
- [points accusingly at Quark]
- Zek: You knew about this all along?
- Quark: [still stammering] I...
- Pel: [reproachful] So, tell me about my "big future"!
- Zek: [to Pel; accusingly] You have *no* future! I'll see to it that you spend the rest of your life behind bars!
- Quark: [Quark steps forward, standing protectively in front of Pel. With stern finality] NO.
- Zek: Let me remind you that taking business advice from a female is a violation of Ferengi law.
- Quark: I didn't know she was a female.
- Zek: Stupidity is no excuse. Now, one more word out of you and you are going to share her cell.
- Quark: Then you better make sure it's big enough for three.
- Zek: [suspiciously] Are you threatening me?
- Quark: I wonder what your associates say when I tell them that you allowed a female to represent you in a business negotiation.
- Zek: [echoing Quark's words] I didn't know she was a female.
- Quark: Stupidity is no excuse.
- [Zek silently realizes that Quark is right - they all didn't know that they were working with a female]
- [Pel is whispering in Rom's ear about something during a tango game. Rom is loudly voicing his refusal]
- Rom: No, absolutely not! This is not the right time to discuss!
- Quark: [signalling Rom to be quiet; Very annoyed] I am trying to concentrate!
- Rom: I'm sorry, brother! It's this insolent young waiter's fault!
- Pel: [holding out what looks like dried peas] My apologies Quark, but I really think you should try one of these.
- Quark: What's this?
- Pel: A way to double your profits. Taste it.
- [Quark does, a second later he takes a sip of his drink]
- Pel: [to Rom] You see? He immediately reached for his drink.
- Quark: [something begins to dawn on him] So I did...
- [Quark excitedly snaps his fingers, signaling Pel to give him another one of the dried peas. Again, he reaches for his drink after popping the pea into his mouth]
- Quark: [enthralled] Amazing... You don't even realize you are thirsty! What are they?
- Pel: Gramilian sand peas. They inhibit secretions the salivary glands while drying out the tissues of the tongue. It works every time.
- [leans over the table]
- Pel: If you replace your complimentary dishes of locker beans with Gramilian sand peas, you won't be able to fill your customers' glasses fast enough.
- Quark: [leans over the table, intrigued by Pel's expertise in business] What is your name?
- Pel: Pel. So what do you think about my idea?
- Quark: I think I believe in the fifty-ninth rule of acquisition - Free advice is seldom cheap.
- Pel: True, but the twenty second rule says - A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
- Quark: [smiles] I see you know your rules.
- Pel: [nods] All two hundred and eighty-five of them. And the various commentaries as well... I don't plan on being a waiter forever.
- Rom: Good. Then you're fired!
- Quark: Shut up Rom!
- [Pel has just revealed the truth about herself in front of Grand Nagus Zek. She and Quark are now alone]
- Quark: I hope you're satisfied.
- [He sits on the couch, Pel sits next to him]
- Pel: I'm sorry, but it's time he learned that when it comes to accumulating profit, women are just as capable as men.
- Quark: Well, do me a favor and don't tell anybody else.
- Pel: I should go. I've booked passage on an Andorian transport. You could come with me.
- Quark: [regretfully] I can't.
- Pel: [understandingly] I know.
- [Quark and Pel kiss]
- Pel: [while stroking Quark's ear] Well then, if I can't have you. I'll take those ten bars of latinum after all.
- [Pel leaves. Quark inhales and exhales deeply, emotionally ineberated from the effects of the oo-mox. He flops his head to the side. He smiles romantically, obviously watching her leave off camera]