SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)

Shanghaied/Gary Takes a Bath (2001)

Brian Doyle-Murray: Flying Dutchman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Patrick Star : It would seem we have reached an impasse.

  Flying Dutchman : Pink one is right. Tell you what, you give me back the sock and I'll give you... three wishes.

  Patrick Star : Make it five.

  Flying Dutchman : Four.

  Patrick Star : Three. Take it or leave it.

  Flying Dutchman : Okay... uh, three. You get three wishes.

• [the trio climb onboard a ghostly pirate ship] 

  Squidward Tentacles : Alright, who owns this crate?

  [knocks on the cabin door] 

  Squidward Tentacles : Come on out! I wanna file a complaint!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [looks around]  Doesn't this place seem familiar?

  Patrick : I don't know. Why?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : I don't know, doesn't it just kinda ring a bell?

  [Squidward repeatedly rings the doorbell by the cabin door] 

  Patrick : Yes!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : I know who owns this boat, but I just can't place the name.

  [He passes by a barrel labelled "property of the Flying Dutchman". Squidward angrily pounds on the cabin door until the Flying Dutchman suddenly bursts out] 

  Flying Dutchman : [roaring]  Aaargh-oowh-waagh!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : No, no, it's not

  [imitating him] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : "Aaargh-oowh-waagh!"

  Flying Dutchman : I am the Flying Dutchman!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : That's it! Squidward, this ship belongs to the Red Baron!

• Flying Dutchman : Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman in his own lair?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [cheerfully]  It's Squidward, he wants to complain to you.

  [the Flying Dutchman looks at Squidward] 

  Squidward Tentacles : [nervously]  I... no I don't

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Well, what about all that stuff about him having a dirty ship and being lazy and all?

  [Flying Dutchman glares angrily at Squidward] 

  Squidward Tentacles : [laughs nervously]  I never said that

  Flying Dutchman : Insulting a man's ship be worse than insulting his mother!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : No, no wait, it was his mother you said was dirty, not his ship!

  [the Flying Dutchman fries Squidward with fire from his nose] 

• Flying Dutchman : [trying to scare a kid fish]  Booooo! Prepare to be burdened with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates!

  SpongeBob : [pans to a kelp shrub, then SpongeBob peaks out]  Was that the signal? Sorry, sorry, just do it again.

  Flying Dutchman : ...with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates!

  [SpongeBob and Patrick come out of the shrub making ghoulish noises and SpongeBob does a hand trick] 

  Patrick Star : [in a ghoulish voice]  How does he do thaaaat?

  [SpongeBob and Patrick continue ghoulish noises] 

  Flying Dutchman : Get back on the ship.

  SpongeBob , Patrick Star : [in a ghoulish voice and backing away]  It's still a mystery.

  Kid Fish : Those guys are dorks.

  Flying Dutchman : Yes, but they're my dorks.

• Flying Dutchman : [having shanghaied SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward]  You're part of my crew now, and our job is to sail around and frighten people. It'll be grueling, mind-numbing, and repetitive. Just like... daytime television.

  [SpongeBob and Patrick both have goofy smiles on their faces at this] 

• Flying Dutchman : We're heading down to Bikini Bottom tonight for a little haunting spree. So I want this ship to look good and scary.

  SpongeBob : You mean you want it to look good... and scary. Well, I think we could probably...

  Patrick Star : No, no. I think he means he wants it to look so good that it's scary.

  SpongeBob : Or maybe that by looking so scary you forget that it doesn't look good.

  Patrick Star : [after a pause]  I don't get it.

  SpongeBob : Look, it's easy, it simple means that...

  Flying Dutchman : Never mind what it means! I just want it to look scary! That's it! You know, mold on the ceilings and bugs in the sink.

  SpongeBob : So you don't want it to look good?

  Flying Dutchman : GET MOVING!

  SpongeBob , Patrick Star : [singing rapidly]  A sailor's life is a wonderful life, a wonderful life for sure!