South Park (TV Series)

The Death Camp of Tolerance (2002)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Mr. Garrison, Mr. Mackey, Randy Marsh, Hall of Discrimination Voices, Smoker, Lemmiwinks Singer, Chris Stotch, Tolerance Camp Leader, The Sparrow Prince, Camp Guard #2, Audience Member #1, Audience Member #2, Audience Member #5, Audience Member #6

Quotes 

• Eric Cartman : [after exiting an exhibit at the Museum of Tolerance where random racial and homophobic slurs are yelled out]  I want to go again! I want to go again!

• Randy Marsh : [In the Hall of Stereoypes]  Here, Stan, here's another stereotype- the lazy Mexican. Now, we know that not all Mexicans are lazy, and-

  [Mr. Venezuela, the janitor, wakes up] 

  Randy Marsh : Huh?

  Mr. Venezuela : Yo, man, where am I?

  Randy Marsh : Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were a wax statue.

  Mr. Venezuela : Naw, man, I'm the janitor, but I'm just so tired and sleepy.

  Randy Marsh : Oh, I see.

• Mr. Garrison : Holy Moley! I've gotta find a way to get fired for being gay!

• Mr. Garrison : God-damnit!

  Mr. Slave : How'd it go?

  Mr. Garrison : This is unbelievable, Mr. Slave! It seems no matter what I do I can't get fired!

  Mr. Slave : The principal didn't fire you?

  Mr. Garrison : No! The parents felt so bad that their kids didn't want to attend my class anymore that they wanna give me the Courageous Teacher award this Friday at the Museum of Tolerance!

  Mr. Slave : Oh, Jesus Christ.

  Mr. Garrison : I mean, I stuck a gerbil up your ass and they wanna give me a Goddamn medal!

  Mr. Slave : Well it sounds to me like the principal's just hiding things from everybody. What you need to do is let the parents see what kind of demented faggot you are.

  Mr. Garrison : Oh well-

  [stops and thinks] 

  Mr. Garrison : Hey, that's right, Mr. Slave.

  [paces a bit] 

  Mr. Garrison : The parents have to see for themselves.

  [snaps his fingers] 

  Mr. Garrison : The awards ceremony! Well we'll put on a show they'll never forget!

• Mr. Garrison : I'm not saying the rest of the school year will be easy. In fact, it's going to be long and hard.

  [does motions for both words - the palms facomg each other and pulling apart, then two fists] 

  Mr. Garrison : Really long and really hard.

  [emphasizes the motions] 

  Mr. Slave : Oh Jesus Christ.

  Mr. Garrison : Ehewww, the first thing we're gonna be learning about is communist Russia.

  [Starts writing Stalin on the board] 

  Eric Cartman : [Making a paper airplane]  No, Kenny. What are you doing, Kenny?

  Mr. Garrison : Now, Stalin was a big silly when it came to...

  Eric Cartman : Kenny, no! Don't do it, Kenny!

  [fires the plane off. It hits the board and falls away] 

  Mr. Garrison : Eric, did you just throw a paper airplane?

  Eric Cartman : No, it was Kenny!

  Mr. Garrison : Very funny, Eric! Kenny's dead!

  Stan Marsh : Yeah, but Cartman drank Kenny's remains, and now Kenny's soul is trapped in Cartman's body.

  The Class : Yeah!

  Mr. Garrison : That does it! I will not put up with foolishness in my class! It's time for punishmenmt!

  [reaches into his desk and pulls out a paddle, then strikes it against his left palm twice. He walks over to Mr. Slave and has him bend over] 

  Mr. Garrison : Take it Mr. Slave!

  [swats him three times on the ass] 

• Mr. Garrison : Say, Mr. Slave?

  Mr. Slave : Yes, Mr. Garrison?

  Mr. Garrison : I had a dream last night where you were a real dick!

  Mr. Slave : Why would you dream I was being an asshole?

  Mr. Garrison : No, no! I was the asshole.

• Tolerance Camp Leader : [to Kyle]  You, what are you making in your macaroni picture?

  Kyle Broflovski : Uh, a bear?

  Tolerance Camp Leader : Ein bear? Ein bear has nothing to do with tolerance! You will make what we tell you!

  [rips up Kyle's macaroni picture and gives him a new piece of paper] 

  Tolerance Camp Leader : Start over! Faster! FASTER!

  [the leader cocks a gun and points it at Kyle's head] 

  Tolerance Camp Leader : Faster...

  [Kyle hurries up] 

  Tolerance Camp Leader : Are you done? What have you made?

  Kyle Broflovski : [talking fast]  It's a picture of all races and all creeds holding hands in happiness!

  Tolerance Camp Leader : There! That wasn't so bad, was it? DO IT AGAIN!

  [Kyle does another one] 

  Tolerance Camp Leader : Faster! Faster...

• Background Singer : Catatafish's riddle will soon be told...

• Tolerance Camp Leader : Welcome to Tolerance Camp. You are here because you would not accept other people's differences. You refused to accept the life choices of your fellow man. Well those days are now over. Here, intolerance... will not be tolerated.

• Mr. Garrison : It's been brought to my attention that fourth graders might be too old for Mr. Hat.

  Kyle : Two year olds are too old for Mr. Hat.

• Frog King : Hang on, Lemmiwinks! You solved the Catatafish's riddle! Now your trials are nearly through!

• Museum Tour Guide : You other boys have probably called this young man names like "tubby", or "lard butt", or "fat tits".

  Kyle Broflovski : Fat tits, that's a good one.

  Stan Marsh : Yeah, I'll have to remember that.