South Park (TV Series)

Cripple Fight (2001)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Randy Marsh, Timmy, Jimmy Valmer, Skeeter, Scout Leader #1, Scout Leader #2, Mr. Grazier, Susan's Husband, Man in Crowd #2, Chris the News Reporter, Interviewee #2, Steven Spielberg, Tom the News Reader, Man in Crowd #3, Judge

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cartman : Yeah, we learned how to make cakes and muffins for our bake sale!

  Stan : And best of all we met this kid named Jimmy. He's disabled but he doesn't let it ruin his life - he's awsome!

  Timmy : Aaaggghhh!

  Cartman : Yeah, we're gonna use him to help raise money at our bake sales.

  Stan : Cartman, don't say use him you big silly goose.

  Randy Marsh : Son! You call your friend an asshole like a normal boy!

  Randy Marsh : What did you say?

  [slamming the brakes] 

  Stan : I just... called Cartman a name; he's a silly goose.

  Stuart McCormick : Ah huh.

  Randy Marsh : You do not say 'big silly goose'! You call him an asshole like a normal kid!

  Stan : But, dad, I was just trying to...

  Randy Marsh : You call your friend an asshole this instant!

  Stan : Asshole.

  [to Eric] 

  Randy Marsh : That's better.

• Mr. Grazier : Alright, Scouts, I am your new Scout Master, Mr. Grazier!

  [paces back and forth between tables] 

  Mr. Grazier : Together we are going to become the best! The sleekest! The most well polished Scout troop in all of Colorado! Isn't that right!

  [there's no answer] 

  Mr. Grazier : When I ask you a question you will answer "Yes, Scoutmaster!" Do I make myself clear!

  All : Yes, Scoutmaster!

  Mr. Grazier : Good! Now, the first activity for this evening will be...

  [hushed] 

  Mr. Grazier : naked pictures

  [brings forth a camera] 

  Mr. Grazier : I'm gonna take some pictures of each of you naked, in case we need them, for later.

  All : Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!

  Mr. Grazier : Oh, what is this? If there's one thing I hate, it's a whining platoon! "We don't wanna do pushups! We don't wanna get up early! We don't wanna have you take naked pictures of us!"

• Cartman : CRIPPLE FIGHT!

• Jimmy Swanson : [Helping Timmy up]  Timmy. I told you. Put on the HAT!

  [Knocks Timmy down] 

• Mr.Grazier : Alright, Scouts, we're gonna end this meeting with a little puppet show.

  [pulls out a smiling Scout hand puppet] 

  Mr.Grazier : Here's a little Scout. He's always prepared. He's always ready. Now, here's a little Scout telling his parents that Mr. Grazier took naked pictures of him. Look what happens.

  [pulls out a hammer with his left hand and whacks away at the puppet on his right hand. You can hear the bone in his hand break. The Scouts are frightened] 

  Mr.Grazier : Oh! No! Aw! Aw! Aw!

  [his right hand is badly bleeding, leaving a large pool of blood] 

  Mr.Grazier : Do I make myself clear, Scouts!