Trey Parker: Stan Marsh • Eric Cartman • Narrator • ...
Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut
South Park
Trey Parker en el papel de...
Stan Marsh • Eric Cartman • Narrator • Dr. Mephesto • Mr. Garrison • Officer Barbrady • Cameraman • Abortion Clinic Receptionist • Dr. Doctor • Auditioning Actor #1 • Auditioning Actor #2 • Auditioning Actor #3 • Man Portraying Barbrady • John Walsh • Man Portraying Mr. Hat • Governor • Bill Clinton • Ned Gerblansky
- Mayor McDaniels: Officer Barbrady, pretend for just a minute that we had a competent law officer in our town. What would he do?
- Officer Barbrady: That's a good question ma'am. Let me get right on that... with thinking.
- [Jimbo and folks are stuck at Studio, they have to raffle off the next eatable person]
- Uncle Jimbo: OK, until now, everyone has picked up a long stick. I will be next.
- [Jimbo picks up a stick from Barbrady's fist; a tall one]
- Uncle Jimbo: Phew!
- [Mr. Garrison picks up a stick; a tall one]
- Mr. Garrison: Phew!
- [Barbrady opens his fist; another tall one]
- Officer Barbrady: Whooof!
- Uncle Jimbo: Barbrady, where the hell is the short one?
- Officer Barbrady: Eh, what?
- Uncle Jimbo: Someone has to get a short stick, so we know, who will lose!
- Officer Barbrady: Hmm... I always have played with wrong rules!
- Liane Cartman: [At the Unplanned Parenthood Clinic] I want to have... an abortion.
- Abortion Clinic Receptionist: Oh, well, we can do that. This must be a very difficult time for you, Mrs...
- Liane Cartman: Cartman. Yes, it's such a hard decision but I just don't feel like I can raise a child in this screwy world.
- Abortion Clinic Receptionist: Yes, Ms. Cartman, if you don't feel fit to raise a child, an abortion probably is the answer. Do you know the actual time of conception?
- Liane Cartman: About 8 years ago.
- Abortion Clinic Receptionist: [thinking] I see... So the fetus is...
- Liane Cartman: 8 years old.
- Abortion Clinic Receptionist: Ms. Cartman, 8 years old is a little late to be considering abortion.
- Liane Cartman: Really?
- Abortion Clinic Receptionist: Yes, this is what we would refer to as the 40th trimester.
- Liane Cartman: But I just don't think I'm a fit mother.
- Abortion Clinic Receptionist: But we prefer to abort babies a little earlier on. In fact, there's a law against abortions after the 2nd trimester.
- Liane Cartman: Well, I think you need to keep your laws off of my body!
- Abortion Clinic Receptionist: Hummm... I'm afraid I can't help you, Ms. Cartman. If you want to change the law, you'll have to speak with your congressman.
- Liane Cartman: Well, that's exactly what I intend to do! Good day.