The Sopranos (TV Series)

Watching Too Much Television (2002)

James Gandolfini: Tony Soprano

Photos 

Quotes 

• Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : She's a great girl, you don't want to lose this one

  Silvio Dante : T's right, you could have more kids than the Kennedys, if you're married to some twat what good is it?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You've got to have balance in a relationship

  Christopher Moltisanti : I know all that, what if the kid thing never happens?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Come on, medicine today, technology

  Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : This isn't about Ade or anyone else, stay single as long as you can

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : What are you saying?

  Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : But marriage and our thing don't jive

  Silvio Dante : Everybody we know is married

  Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : Not everybody

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You want to end up like my Uncle Junior?

  Silvio Dante : Or worse, Paulie?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Exactly

  Christopher Moltisanti : Alright I've got to think about it

• Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : [to all his friends while entering the Bing to his welcome home from prison party]  Whattaya hear, whattaya say?

  Tony Soprano : Youngstown my ass, look at this guy, it look like you were in Miami

  Albert Barese : Yeah you look like you were in Miami

  Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : [while hugging him]  good to home skip

  Vito Spatafore : What can I get you Paulie?

  Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : After four months inside? How about laid?

  Christopher Moltisanti : [Jokingly]  I heard you getting "laid" up there all the time

• Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr. : [after Tony pulls over in a poor neighborhood]  now what?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : what, you afraid?

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr. : right, like I haven't seen places like this before

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : you see those houses over there? I'm buying them

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr. : those crappy ones? What for?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : for an investment, what've I been saying?

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr. : I don't know

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : real estate, buy real estate

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr. : dad, the black dude's coming over

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [after Tony rolls down the window]  hey, what's up?

  Jemilo : [asking him if he's a police officer]  sup? 5-0?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [jokingly, gesturing to AJ]  uh, yeah, I'm Starsky and this is Hutch

  Jemilo : [referring to the narcotics his selling]  smoke, crack, or crank?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : no, thank you: we're just having a look around

  Jemilo : yeah, no "eye-in, if you ain't buy-in"

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I thought this was a free country?

  Crackhead : unless you want "something", motherfucker, get the fuck off our street

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : oh, the language on you, you "blow" your father with that mouth?

  Jemilo : the fuck you just say to my sister?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : take it easy, I don't want no trouble, I'm just showing my son the "old neighborhood"

  Jemilo : [shows him his gun underneath his shirt]  yeah, well, this our neighborhood now, guinea motherfucker

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [nods, before rolling up the window and driving away]  yeah, I can see that

• Assemblyman Zellman : you remember that time in Atlantic City? You brought your old girlfriend?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : yeah, the cystic fibrosis fundraiser

  Assemblyman Zellman : this is awkward, Irina and I are seeing each other

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : what? Your fuckin kidding me

  Assemblyman Zellman : I met her that night at the fundraiser, I gave her my card: she was having some problem with the landlord. She called me months later when you two broke it off and one thing led to another

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : alright, alright, take it easy, it's "ancient history"

  Assemblyman Zellman : still, I've been meaning to tell you, I feel like I owe you an explanation

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : what am I? Her father? Your both adults, enjoy yourself

  Assemblyman Zellman : it's more than that: I care for her, very deeply, Roz and I are separated. "The heart wants what the heart wants" I guess

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [dismissively]  the heart wants what the dick wants

• Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Hands him a wooden box]  for you

  Brian Cammarata : What's this?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Jokingly]  a music box

  Brian Cammarata : [after opening the box, surprised by the expensive watch as a gift]  holy shit a Patek?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Yeah, me and Ralph got lucky in a new real estate investment

  Brian Cammarata : [Surprised]  you actually did it?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Nods, smiles] 

  Brian Cammarata : Tony, I was only speculating I never meant for you to...

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Interrupts him, reassures him]  relax, your name will never come up

• Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Introducing Paulie to Brian at Paulie's welcome back from prison party at the Bada Bing strip club]  say hello to Brian Cammarata, Carm's cousin, the financial guy

  Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : How you doing kid?

  Brian Cammarata : [Jokingly]  so, just back from "college" huh?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Let me talk to Paulie for a sec ok?

  Brian Cammarata : Nice meeting you

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : So, how you doing? You ok?

  Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : Just thank God that piece of shit from Youngstown "copped" to that gun. I could've been wearing an orange jumpsuit until I'm ninety

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Handing him an envelope full of money]  well, your back home now. That's the important thing. Here, to get back on your feet

  Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : Thanks T, not that I don't appreciate it but I could've used a boost while I was gone too. Fuckin bills. Then there's ma with the private home care. You know she almost lost her spot at Green Grove? An extra 5g's to hold her place

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Paulie, you've been back thirty seconds and you already got a fist full of cash, and not to mention the no-show jobs I got for you

  Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : Your right Tone. I know

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Enjoy the party

  Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : I will

• Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [while in downtown Newark]  See that church? Your great grandfather helped build that almost eighty years ago: he was a stonemason, the old man, came over from Avellino with four dollars in his pocket

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr. : yeah, but I saw in a book where you could get a hotel room for like ten cents a week back then. Room service must've been one or two cents a meal?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : room service? I'm talking history here, your family's history, Newark's history

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr. : who gives a shit about Newark?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I'm making a point: this neighborhood used to be beautiful, a hundred percent Italian. In the 1920's, most of them right off the boat, most Italians couldn't even find a church that wanted them. So, what did they do? Did they cry? Did they go to the government with their hand out? No, they took care of their own problems. They said "You don't want us in your church? Fine, we'll build our own, a better one." Look at all these buildings around here, most of them are falling down to the ground but that church is still standing, you know why?

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr. : [confused]  the bricks?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : because our people give a shit, that's why. Every Sunday, Italians from the old neighborhood drive miles to come here to pray: to keep this place alive

  Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr. : so, how come we never do?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [ignores his question]  buy land, because God isn't making any more of it

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [after AJ rolls his eyes]  hey, this is advice I'm giving to you as your father

• Assemblyman Zellman : [after Tony shows up at his home unexpectedly]  hey, come on in. You know, it really would've been "better" if we met over at Denny's

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : what're you worried about? I was in the neighborhood

  Assemblyman Zellman : so, what's up? Can I get you something? Scotch, right?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [referring to repairing to the houses their buying for a scam]  I sent some of my guys to start "gutting" the place: it turns out one of the houses is a crack den

  Assemblyman Zellman : so?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : what, so? We gotta get them outta there

  Assemblyman Zellman : [referring to Tony's crew]  why don't your guys' just "rouse" them?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [sarcastically]  oh, nice, a bunch of white guys setting off "caps" in the ghetto: that won't attract any attention at all

  Assemblyman Zellman : what'd you want me to do?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : assert some "influence", make some calls. Get the donut squad to "rouse" the shitbags

  Assemblyman Zellman : it's not that easy. When you're dealing with squatters' "rights" or anything to do with the homeless for that matter, it can get very tricky

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I saw them myself: they're a bunch of fuckin crackheads

  Assemblyman Zellman : I understand, their "gumming" up the works. Try to see the "big picture", the HUD approval came through. In two weeks, we can be looking at a huge "windfall"

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : see, that's why you're a politician and not a business man. Maximum value" is the "big picture." There must be seven thousand dollars in copper pipe in there, if they haven't taken it out already

  Assemblyman Zellman : [confused]  I still don't know what you expect me to do about it?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [referring to his share of the profits]  ok, alright. We'll take the 7k out of your end?

  Assemblyman Zellman : well no...

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [pats him on the cheek before leaving, referring to Zellman's alma mater, implying he should be intelligent enough to think of a solution]  come on, University of Michigan, fuckin figure it out

• Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : My son, I don't know what he understands. I'm trying to talk to him about the immigrants: His talking about room service

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : We need to talk about your recent behavior in here. Your angry tirade

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You want to talk about that now? That was weeks ago

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : It was my judgement at the time, you were in crisis about Gloria's suicide

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Didn't you get the flowers I sent?

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Your behavior was unacceptable: you cannot have these outbursts and expect to redeem yourself with a bouquet

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I'm sorry, alright?

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : It's good that your sorry but no, it's not alright. We've been down this road before

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I know, I know

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : The fact that your angry is fine. It's ok to talk about your anger but when it manifests itself in physicality, it becomes unacceptable

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Hey, I never laid a finger on you

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : You "loomed", you threw my tissue holder

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Yeah, and I picked that up. I was very upset: you lied to me

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : I did not lie to you

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You withheld information about a very sensitive subject. Alright, look, I know what I did was wrong, ok? And you may not believe this but I did exercise impulsive control and I have been controlling my anger: this thing with my son, I went to show him the old neighborhood and we got harassed by these two crackheads. One of them had a gun and the other one threw a bottle at my car. Now, it may not sound like much, but I let it go, I drove away

  Dr. Jennifer Melfi : [leans forward]  Well, I ask in the future, you extend to me the same courtesy as you would to a crack addict

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Alright, as long as we're being truthful here, you know opening up? I've been holding a grudge against you for recommending that Wendy Klober, the half assed adolescent shrink, that stupid bitch almost sent my daughter to Barcelona

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [when Melfi sighs, after he realizes there's no comparison]  Your right, it's no excuse

• Assemblyman Zellman : [while in the sauna room]  summer of sixty-seven we're both home on break. I was interning at the state legislature, what were you doing?

  Maurice Tiffen : East Newark Co-op

  Assemblyman Zellman : Right but come July

  Tony Soprano : The Newark riots

  Ralph Cifaretto : What a fuckin summer that was

  Assemblyman Zellman : Later that year Maurice and I have to organize one of the first all black voting drives

  Tony Soprano : Maurice, were you around for Anthony Imperiale? The "white knight"?

  Maurice Tiffen : Around? Who do you think he was fighting against?

  Assemblyman Zellman : Italian pride "keep Newark white"

  Maurice Tiffen : Spying Klansman: some of those boys

  Ralph Cifaretto : So, this group you got now, the Urban Housing League, what's the story there?

  Maurice Tiffen : Like many non-profits, we've fallen on hard times. Republican administration plus proliferation of new charities post 9/11

  Tony Soprano : Sounds like you three got a lot to talk about. I'm going to hit the showers. Maurice: nice meeting ya

  Maurice Tiffen : Same here

  Assemblyman Zellman : I took the liberty of filling in Maurice on the broad strokes

  Ralph Cifaretto : Ok we got a guy Dr. Fried, his an Urologist. We're going to give him half a million of our money, have him grab these four houses on Garside Street for a hundred and twenty-five a piece

  Maurice Tiffen : The old first ward

  Ralph Cifaretto : Once we own the houses we got an appraiser who'll "play ball" and his going to appraise them in the three hundred thousand dollar range. What you do Maurice is you take the phony appraisals to HUD tell them the Urban Housing League will buy these shit holes and convert them into low cost housing for working families

  Ralph Cifaretto : Once HUD guarantees the mortgage app you take it to the bank, they cut a check and we work it up nice

  Maurice Tiffen : At which I assume my organization fails to make the mortgage payments

  Assemblyman Zellman : Unforeseen construction delays and repeated vandalism forced the project into disillusion. We all walk away from the houses

  Ralph Cifaretto : Your cut will be in the ten percent of the profit range

  Assemblyman Zellman : My office will write a letter in strong support of your application

  Maurice Tiffen : Sounds about right

• Ralph Cifaretto : So is there any investment advice for an ambitious young man like myself

  Brian Cammarata : "Buy land I guess because God ain't making any more of it", that's what Will Rogers said

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : It's true, my house is worth nearly triple of what I paid

  Ralph Cifaretto : Location's the key right? Otherwise you get stuck with shit

  Brian Cammarata : Sometimes there's money in shit

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : How'd you mean?

  Brian Cammarata : Nothing, I don't know

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : We're just talking here come on

  Brian Cammarata : I don't know. Some guy I went to school with, this black guy. We worked for one summer for this not-for-profit housing group. He told me about some scam this minister was involved in up in Harlem

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I read about this: fake mortgage loans or something right?

  Brian Cammarata : Actually, you ever hear of HUD?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Housing Development yeah

  Brian Cammarata : HUD was set up to help minorities and low income families become home owners

  Ralph Cifaretto : There are more programs for these dead beats I swear to Christ

  Brian Cammarata : As long as the Fed is guaranteeing the home mortgage the banks figure "what the hell?" They'll loan the money. You get a front man to buy houses in a crummy neighborhood. I'm talking real shit boxes that are worth like a hundred grand a piece. Next, you tie up with some not-for-profit organization who goes to HUD and say they intend to buy these houses from your stooge