Compartilhado com você
- Bart: An army of dogs! No bully will ever touch me again!
- [calls outside to Jimbo]
- Bart: Hey, Jerkface! You have the face of a jerk!
- Jimbo Jones: [grabs Bart] All right, Simpson, you asked for-!
- Bart: Get him, boys!
- [the dogs whimper and fall asleep]
- Bart: [chuckles nervously] Uh, say, Jimbo, hope I wasn't out of line with that "Jerkface" crack...
- [Jimbo punches him in the stomach and leaves]
- Lisa: What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog?
- Marge Simpson: Uh-oh.
- Bart: It looks like he's trying to jump over her, but he can't quite make it. Come on, boy! You can do it!
- Smithers: Are you sure you want to go through with this, sir? You do have a very full wardrobe as it is.
- Mr. Burns: Yes, but not completely full, for you see... /
- [singing]
- Mr. Burns: Some men hunt for sport, others hunt for food. The only thing I'm hunting for, is an outfit that looks good... / See... my... Vest. See my vest. / Made from real gorilla chest. / See this sweater, there's no better, than authentic Irish Setter. / See this hat? 'Twas my cat, / My evening wear vampire bat. / These white slippers are albino African endangered rhino. / Grizzly bear underwear, / Turtle's necks I've got my share. / Beret of Poodle on my noodle I shall rest. / Try my red robin suit, it comes one breast or two. / See my vest. See my vest. See my vest. / Like my loafers? Former gophers, / It was that or skin my chauffeurs / but a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best. / So let's prepare these dogs...
- Mrs. Potts: Kill two for matching clogs.
- Mr. Burns: See my vest, see my vest, oh please won't you see... my... Vest! I really like the vest.
- Smithers: I gathered, yeah...
- Lisa: He's gonna make a tuxedo out of our puppies!
- Bart: [still humming the tune] Na na na na na na naa naaaa...
- Lisa: Bart!
- Bart: Sorry... You gotta admit it's catchy.
- Bart: Hey, boy, you want to play fetch?
- [Santa's Little Helper looks up, tired, then puts his head back down]
- Bart: Aw. Me and Santa's Little Helper used to be a team, but he never wants to play anymore since his bitch moved in.
- Marge Simpson: Bart, don't ever say that word again!
- Bart: Well, that's what she is. I looked it up.
- Marge Simpson: Well, I'm going to write the dictionary people and have that checked. Feels like a mistake to me...
- Homer Simpson: Hmm, I guess Bart's not to blame. He's lucky too, because it's spanking season, and I got a hankering for some spankering!
- [a wild Santa's Little Helper digs up a dozen holes in the backyard]
- Lisa: [gasp] My bongo drums!
- Bart: My strobe light!
- Homer Simpson: My "Best of Ray Stevens - featuring the 'Streak' - Album"! So it was the dog who buried all our stuff!
- Marge Simpson: Yes... the dog.
- Bart: An army of dogs! No bully will ever touch me again!
- [calls outside to Jimbo]
- Bart: Hey, Jerkface! You have the face of a jerk!
- Jimbo Jones: [grabs Bart] All right, Simpson, you asked for-!
- Bart: Get him, boys!
- [the dogs whimper and fall asleep]
- Bart: [chuckles nervously] Uh, say, Jimbo, hope I wasn't out of line with that "Jerkface" crack...
- [Jimbo punches him in the stomach and leaves]
- Race Track Announcer: As they round the far turn, it's She's the Fastest followed by Always Comes in Second and I'm Number Three.
- Homer Simpson: Yes! Come on, you little horse!
- Race Track Announcer: And they're in the home stretch. It's...
- [Santa's Little Helper runs out onto the track]
- Race Track Announcer: Wait! Another dog is on the track!
- Bart: It's Santa's Little Helper!
- Race Track Announcer: The mystery dog is gaining fast on the outside. Of course, he could never win this race... or could he?
- Lisa: [trying to give the puppies away] They don't like being broken up.
- Marge Simpson: We've got to be realistic, kids. Who's going to have a big enough heart to take care of 25 puppies?
- Mr. Burns: [chuckling] And I know the little fellows will love romping around my many acres, chasing my many cars, drinking from my many toilets.
- Homer Simpson: Who wouldn't?
- Lisa: [quietly] Mom, don't give the puppies to him. He'll be mean to them.
- Marge Simpson: Hmm. She's right, Homer. There's something about his face I don't trust.
- Homer Simpson: [Burns laughs evily] Uh... I'm sorry, Mr. Burns, but you can't have these dogs.
- [flinching]
- Homer Simpson: Am I fired?
- Mr. Burns: Hmm? Oh, of course not. They're your pets. You can do as you wish.
- [leaving with Smithers]
- Mr. Burns: Good day, everyone.
- Marge Simpson: My, he certainly took that well.
- Homer Simpson: A little too well, if you ask me. I'm sure he's plotting some brilliant scheme to get those puppies.
- Mr. Burns: [stealing the puppies behind their backs] There you go. There you go. You, too.
- Smithers: Honestly, sir, you just don't put the effort into your schemes that you used to.
- Homer Simpson: [opening a bag of potato chips while watching TV] Ah...
- [a puppy snatches his chip]
- Homer Simpson: D'oh!
- [in succession as he takes a new chip out]
- Homer Simpson: Ah... d'oh! Ah... d'oh! Mm... d'oh! Ah... d'oh! Ooh... d'oh! This time... d'oh! Ah... d'oh!
- Marge Simpson: Yeesh! This house stinks. You're not just putting the new newspapers over the old ones, are you?
- Homer Simpson: [the kitchen floor is littered with paper] Do you have a better idea?
- Marge Simpson: All right, who broke my vase?
- Lisa: Who took all my test papers off the refrigerator and tore them up?
- Homer Simpson: Who spread garbage all over Flanders' yard before I got a chance to?
- Bart: Oh, please. This is senseless destruction with none of my usual social commentary.
- Lisa: [Santa's Little Helper leaps in with a pillow in his mouth and shakes the filling out] If it wasn't you, then who was it?
- Marge Simpson: [SLH chases after Snowball the cat with a kitchen knife in his mouth] Well, I'm sure these things didn't destroy themselves, now did they?
- Homer Simpson: [frightened] Did they?
- Marge Simpson: [after Santa's Little Helper humps a female dog] I think they're in love.
- Homer Simpson: [the crowd "awws"] Aw! So that's what's been wrong with the little fella. He misses casual sex.
- Lisa: Can we keep Santa's girlfriend, mom?
- Bart: Please?
- Marge Simpson: But she's not our dog.
- Texan: [giving Homer the leash] She's yours now. Once they fall in love, they lose their racing spirit.
- Marge Simpson: Won't you miss her loyalty and companionship?
- Texan: [guffawing] Lady, you're all right.
- Marge Simpson: [Santa's Little Helper paws at the back door] Okay, you can go out and play, but no more you-know-what in front of the house, all right?
- [letting the dogs out]
- Marge Simpson: Hey! What did I just say?
- Marge Simpson: Ooh, this place is so big. Do you think we should split up and look for him, Homie? Homie?
- Homer Simpson: [at a betting window] Two bucks to win on number eight.
- [seeing Marge's look, he turns on the waterworks]
- Homer Simpson: And have you seen my beloved dog?
- [stopping]
- Homer Simpson: Give me the ticket.
- Homer Simpson: We can't lose! Look at the name of the dog I bet on.
- Marge Simpson: "She's the Fastest." Homer, I don't think that means necessarily...
- Race Track Announcer: And they're off! She's the Fastest jumps out to an insurmountable lead.
- Homer Simpson: You're lucky you've got looks, Marge.
- Kent Brockman: Welcome to the 6:00 news in our brand-new studio. Looking good, Springfield.
- [as he gives them the "OK" hand gesture, the crowd outside shouts and waves]
- Kent Brockman: In today's news, a two-ton rhino escaped from the Springfield Zoo, but zoo officials were quick to act, and Petunia, as she is known, is safely back in captivity.
- [a rhino rampages through the crowd outside]
- Kent Brockman: [oblivious] In other news, a three-ton rhino that escaped from the zoo last week is still at large.
- Homer Simpson: [Santa's Little Helper energetically digs in the back yard] Oh, my god! He's got the precious cable TV cable!
- Cable TV Announcer: Your cable TV is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.
- Chief Wiggum: [in bed, checking] Well, I'll be damned.
- Marge Simpson: Excuse me. We're having a problem with our dog.
- Pet Store Clerk: Lady, I'll tell you what I'm telling everyone else: I'm sorry if your dog went blind, but your gripe is with Hartz Mountain, not with me.
- Marge Simpson: No! No, our dog is out of control. He's wild, destructive, and has little or no respect for authority.
- Pet Store Clerk: Hmm. Let me try a canine-human mind meld. It's an incredibly rare psychic power possessed only by me and three other clerks at this store.
- [putting his hands on Santa's Little Helper's face, a la the Vulcan mind meld]
- Pet Store Clerk: Okay.
- [barking and moaning]
- Pet Store Clerk: I'm bored. I'm restless. Need change in life.
- [barking again]
- Pet Store Clerk: Like imported leather leash... uh, blue contact lenses... 200-volt shock training collar.
- Homer Simpson: [cut to them driving home with the car filled with supplies] Well, problem solved.
- Marge Simpson: [he "dusts off" his hands] Homer, hold onto the wheel!
- Homer Simpson: You've got it.
- Bart: [Santa's Little Helper manages to squeeze through the cracked car window] Hey!
- Homer Simpson: Don't worry. We'll catch him or run him over trying.
- Bart: Look, he's headed back to the greyhound racing track where we found him.
- Homer Simpson: Don't worry. As soon as they find out he doesn't have any money, they'll throw him out. Believe me, I know.
- Lisa: Mom, why do I have to wear a flea collar?
- Marge Simpson: [wearing one, too] Oh, it's just easier this way.
- Bart: Hey, look! A really small dog just fell out of Santa's girlfriend!
- Marge Simpson: Oh, my god! She's having babies! Oh, I'm sorry, girl. I thought you were just getting fat.
- Lisa: Look! It's twins!
- Homer Simpson: No, it's two sets of twins.
- Bart: Two sets of twins and a triplet.
- Marge Simpson: Homer! Homer, find a place for all these little miracles.
- Marge Simpson: Now, I know we love the puppies very much, but I think they're getting to be a problem.
- Bart: Yeah, they ate all my socks. I have to wear Lisa's to school today.
- Homer Simpson: [seeing the girly socks he's wearing] How do you explain the culottes, boy?
- Bart: [wearing a skirt, too] Well, I have to coordinate, don't I?
- Reverend Lovejoy: Oh, just lovely, Marge. The whole town will hear what a perfect evening this was. How nothing at all went wrong.
- Army Sergeant: Simpson, this evening has gone so flawlessly, I'm gonna forget that you were mistakenly let out of the army a month early.
- IRS Regional Director: I'm so impressed by this problem-free evening that there's no need for that audit.
- IRS Regional Director, Army Sergeant, Reverend Lovejoy: [standing and raising their glases] A toast to the Simpsons.
- Army Sergeant: And to the delectable turkey...
- [it begins to roll around of its own accord]
- Army Sergeant: ...that's walking around the table?
- Reverend Lovejoy: Dear Lord, it's a demon bird!
- [it cracks open, revealing two of the puppies inside; retching into their napkins, the guests all leave, then poke their heads back in one by one]
- Army Sergeant: SimpSON! See you at reveille 0500 tomorrow.
- IRS Regional Director: See you at the IRS.
- Reverend Lovejoy: See you in hell! From heaven.
- Marge Simpson: [watching TV with the puppies, one gets on its hind legs and puts its paws on the screen] Look at Branford II. Isn't that cute? He thinks he's one of the Models, Inc.
- [the family laughs; feeling left out, Snowball does the same thing]
- Homer Simpson: Get that cat out of the way!
- Homer Simpson: Your mother and I have been thinking about giving the puppies away.
- Bart, Lisa: NOOOOO!
- Homer Simpson: Mainly your mother.
- Lisa: Is that what we do in this family? When someone becomes an inconvenience, we just get rid of them?
- Grampa Simpson: [at the Retirement Castle, he picks up a silent phone receiver] Hello? Is anybody there?
- [hanging up, dejected]
- Grampa Simpson: Aw...