The Simpsons (TV Series)

Treehouse of Horror V (1994)

Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : [chops down a door a la The Shining]  Heeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!

  [there's no one in the room] 

  Homer Simpson : D'oh!

  [chops down another door] 

  Homer Simpson : Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavid Letterman!

  Grandpa Simpson : Hi, David, I'm Grampa.

  Homer Simpson : D'oh!

  [chops down another door and holds a stopwatch] 

  Homer Simpson : I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on 60 Minutes!

  Marge Simpson , Bart Simpson , Lisa Simpson : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

• Lisa : Bart, does it strike you as odd that Uter disappeared and suddenly they're serving us this mysterious food called "Uterbraten"?

  Principal Skinner : Oh relax kids, I've got a gut feeling Uter's around here somewhere hahahahaha, after all isn't there a little Uter in all of us? hahahaha... hahaha, in fact, you might even say we just ate Uter, and he's in our stomachs... right now! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Wait, scratch that one.

• Lisa : Mom! Mom! You gotta help! They're cooking kids in the school cafeteria!

  Marge Simpson : Listen, kids - you're eight and ten years old now; I can't be fighting all your battles for you.

  Bart Simpson : But, mom!

  Marge Simpson : Nobuts! You march right back to that school, look them straight in the eye and say 'Don't eat me'.

• Lisa Simpson : Are we taking the new Nexus to aunt Patty and Selma's funeral today?

  Homer Simpson : Hmm, fabulous house, well-behaved kids, sisters-in-law dead, luxury sedan, WOO HOO! I hit the jackpot! Marge, dear, would you kindly pass me a donut?

  Marge Simpson : Donut? What's a donut?

  [Homer screams in horror and runs back to the time machine. Right after he leaves, it starts raining donuts] 

  Marge Simpson : Hmm. It's raining again.

• Marge : [Bart awakens from a nightmare]  Relax, honey. You were just having a crazy nightmare. You're back home with your family now, where there's nothing to be afraid of... except that fog that turns people inside out.

  Bart : Huh?

  Homer : [the fog starts coming in]  Uh-oh, it's seeping in. STUPID CHEAP WEATHER STRIPPING!

  [everyone screams as the fog turns them inside out; then they stop screaming, looking at each other. Music plays, and they start dancing and singing] 

  Marge , Bart , Homer , Lisa : One chorus line of people, dancing till they make us stop!

  Groundskeeper Willie : [Willy, also turned inside out, jumps on stage]  Too...!

  Marge , Bart , Homer , Lisa , Groundskeeper Willie : Many dancing people, covered in blood, gore, and glop!/Just one sniff of that fog and you're inside out!/It's worse than that flesh-eating virus you've read about!/Vital organs, they are what we're dressed in, the family dog is eyeing Bart's intestine!/Happy Halloween!

• Lisa Simpson : Dad, look!

  [holds TV up] 

  Homer Simpson : Television! Teacher, mother...

  Homer Simpson : [lustily]  ... secret lover. Urge to kill... fading... fading... fading - rising! Fading... fading... gone.

  [family sighs] 

  Homer Simpson : Come, family. sit in the snow with daddy and let us all bask in TV's warm glowing warming glow.

  [Hours later, everyone is frozen] 

  man introducing Tony Awards : [on TV]  Live, from Broadway, it's the Tony Awards, with your hosts Tyne Daly and Hal Linden!

  Bart Simpson : [with difficulty]  Homer... change channel.

  Homer Simpson : Can't! Frozen!

  [music on TV: "One chorus line of people...?] 

  Homer Simpson : [family screams] 

  Homer Simpson : Urge to kill... rising...

• Homer Simpson : [Homer is slowly being driven mad by the lack of beer and TV at the lodge]  I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you!

  Marge Simpson : Homer!

  Homer Simpson : Sorry. Sorry. Don't worry. There's plenty I can do to keep myself occupied. Maybe I'll check out that axe collection?

  [he leaves the kitchen but then pokes his head around the door jamb with a sinister smile] 

  Homer Simpson : See ya later.

  Lisa Simpson : Mom, is Dad gonna' kill us?

  Marge Simpson : [not too concerned yet]  We're just gonna' have to wait and see.

• Homer Simpson : Hey, where is everybody?

  Bart Simpson : Hey, there's a bug that looks like Dad. Let's kill it!

  Lisa Simpson : OK.