The Simpsons (TV Series)

Treehouse of Horror V (1994)

Harry Shearer: Evil Laugh, Mr. Burns, Smithers, Kent Brockman, Tony Awards Announcer, Prehistoric Creature, Ned Flanders, Kang, Principal Skinner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Montgomery Burns : Yes, by cutting off cable TV, and the beer supply, I'll be able to ensure an honest winter's work out of those low-lifes...

  Smithers : Sir, did you ever stop to think that maybe it was doing this that caused the previous caretakers to go insane and murder their families?

  Montgomery Burns : Mmm, perhaps. Tell you what, we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.

• Lisa : Bart, does it strike you as odd that Uter disappeared and suddenly they're serving us this mysterious food called "Uterbraten"?

  Principal Skinner : Oh relax kids, I've got a gut feeling Uter's around here somewhere hahahahaha, after all isn't there a little Uter in all of us? hahahaha... hahaha, in fact, you might even say we just ate Uter, and he's in our stomachs... right now! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Wait, scratch that one.

• Mr. Burns : This house has quite a long and colorful history. It was built on an ancient Indian burial ground, and was the setting of Satanic rituals, witch-burnings, and five John Denver Christmas specials.

  Homer : [shudders]  Oh... John Denver.

• Montgomery Burns : That's odd. Usually the blood gets off at the second floor.

• Principal Skinner : I'm going to enjoy devouring you, Bart Simpson. Yes... I believe I'll start, as you've so often suggested, by eating your shorts.

• Homer Simpson : [after using a time-traveling toaster, Homer suddenly finds himself in the dinosaur era]  Okay, don't panic! Remember the advice your father gave you on your wedding day.

  Grandpa Simpson : [Flashback of younger Grampa in a tuxedo]  If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything. Because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine.

  Homer Simpson : Right. As long as I stay perfectly still and don't touch anything, I won't destroy the future.

  [a prehistoric mosquito flies by] 

  Homer Simpson : Stupid bug! You go squish now!

  [squishes the mosquito. It falls to the ground, dead] 

  Homer Simpson : [gasps]  But that was just one little insignificant mosquito. That can't change the future, right? Right?

  Prehistoric Creature : I don't know.

• Kang : [Homer keeps carelessly distorting the time line, trying to get back to his own universe. Kang and Kodos the aliens watch from space as Homer's meddling causes 742 Evergreen Terrace to repeatedly change from one bizzarre form to another]  Foolish earthling! Totally unprepared for the effects of time travel!

  [They both laugh] 

  Kang : [Suddenly, one of the changes Homer makes to the timeline causes Kang and Kodos's bodies to transform to those of Sherman and Mr. Peabody]  What happened to us, Kodos?

  Mr. Peabody : Quiet, you!

• Lisa Simpson : Dad, look!

  [holds TV up] 

  Homer Simpson : Television! Teacher, mother...

  Homer Simpson : [lustily]  ... secret lover. Urge to kill... fading... fading... fading - rising! Fading... fading... gone.

  [family sighs] 

  Homer Simpson : Come, family. sit in the snow with daddy and let us all bask in TV's warm glowing warming glow.

  [Hours later, everyone is frozen] 

  man introducing Tony Awards : [on TV]  Live, from Broadway, it's the Tony Awards, with your hosts Tyne Daly and Hal Linden!

  Bart Simpson : [with difficulty]  Homer... change channel.

  Homer Simpson : Can't! Frozen!

  [music on TV: "One chorus line of people...?] 

  Homer Simpson : [family screams] 

  Homer Simpson : Urge to kill... rising...

• Ned Flanders : Now, incase all that smiling didn't cheer you up, there's one thing that never fails: nice glass of warm milk, a little nap, and a total frontal lobotomy!

• Ned Flanders : Just relax, let the hooks do their work.

  Homer Simpson : What the hell are you smiling at?