Kelsey Grammer credited as playing...
Sideshow Bob
- Sideshow Bob: Because you need me, Springfield! Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside, you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king! That's why I did this, to protect you from yourselves. Now, if you don't mind, I have a city to run.
- Sideshow Bob: [Bob calls Birch Barlow's show during a prison riot] I am presently incarcerated, imprisoned for a crime I did not even commit. "Attempted murder," now honestly, did they ever give anyone a Nobel prize for "attempted chemistry?"
- [ducks a flying sink]
- Sideshow Bob: Oh really now, this is a personal call!
- Sideshow Bob: I did it! I did it all! There! Is that what you want, you smarmy, little bastards?
- Bart: We want the truth!
- Sideshow Bob: You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. No truth-handler, you. Bah! I deride your truth-handling abilities!
- Kent Brockman: Alright, let's go live to Bob headquarters now, for Mayor Terwilliger's victory speech.
- Sideshow Bob: [approaches podium] Ahem. Heh, heh, heh. Hah, hah hah, hah hah!
- [laughter grows progressively more maniacal]
- Sideshow Bob: HA! HA HA HA HA HA! HAAA! HAAA! HAAA! HAAAA!
- Kent Brockman: And just look how happy he is.
- [after Bob's election, the Simpsons awake to find a wrecking crew outside their house]
- Sideshow Bob: So sorry, Mr. Simpson, but your house is blocking construction of our new Matlock Expressway. Now, I am a fair man. You may have 72 hours to vacate. After which time, we will blow up your house and any remaining Simpsons.