Dan Castellaneta nel ruolo di...
Homer Simpson • Grampa • Barney • Krusty • Sideshow Mel
- Bart Simpson: I accidentally burned up the tree. And the presents. I'm really sorry.
- Lisa Simpson: Why, you little...!
- [strangles Bart]
- Homer Simpson: Lisa, no!
- [separates Lisa from Bart]
- Homer Simpson: Your hands are too weak!
- [takes over choking Bart]
- Lisa Simpson: [as the entire family fights] I'm gonna kill him!
- Homer Simpson: No, I'm killing him first! You wait your turn!
- Marge Simpson: Homer, you won't believe what has happened. It's a miracle!
- Homer Simpson: Oh Marge. I don't want to hear any more about that silver polish.
- Kent Brockman: Folks, any words for the Christmas thief, *if* he's watching?
- Homer Simpson: Eh... yes... Kent. Uh hello, jerk. We may never find you and we should probably all.. stop looking. But one thing's for sure... you do exist.
- Kent Brockman: [turns to camera] Strong words. Strong, bewildering words!
- [first lines]
- Homer Simpson: [hitting dashboard with his fist] D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Stupid heater! Don't make me come in there!
- [Homer and his Simpson family enters Krusty Burger, but only to see a massive line of Springfielders]
- Homer Simpson: [as two customers starts to stare at the family] Oh, no. Look at the line.
- Moe Szyslak: [from the near head of the first line; starts staring while pointing] Oh, there they are!
- Chief Wiggum: [as more Springfielders start staring at the family, Wiggum is at the near head of the third line] Ahh, it's the Swindlers.
- Principal Skinner: [exiting the restaurant from the head of the first line] The Simpsons.
- Moe Szyslak: [exiting] Ahh, them stinking liers.
- Ned Flanders: [exiting from the bottom of the second line] Well, there goes Christmas dinner.
- Edna Krabappel: [exiting from out of nowhere in the line; chuckles] Ha!
- Homer Simpson: [the lines are now empty; sigh as the family approaches the middle Cashier] Aw-www. Head of the line. A family could get used to being shunned. Huh, huh?
- [Channel 6 News Report; As Homer, Barney & Moe views on TV at Moe's]
- Kent Brockman: [Outside the Simpson's house] "Dateline", Kent Brockman. I'm here at the scene of the Christmas burglary, where a creature 'was' staring last night and what he was 'stirring' was, up, trouble.
- Kent Brockman: [Interviewing Marge, holding Maggie, aside from Bart & Lisa] Is your husband or lover here, Mam?
- Marge Simpson: No. My husband is... at church.
- Homer Simpson: [at Moe's] Aww. That's my girl. I love you, Marjorie.
- Moe Szyslak: Yeah. She's quite a gal.
- Homer Simpson: You, shut up!
- Kent Brockman: So, when you realized Christmas was ruined... how did you feel?
- Marge Simpson: How do you think I felt?
- Kent Brockman: [to Marge] Absolutely devastated.
- Kent Brockman: [to audience] "Absolutely devastated", the words of a heartbroken mother.
- Kent Brockman: [as he very briefly pats Bart's forehead at one point] There will be no fire truck for little Bart; No sweater for little Lisa; No Cajun sausage for little Homer.
- Homer Simpson: [still at Moe's; moans] O-oooo-oooo-oh.
- Kent Brockman: [to audience] So, while you're home today, eating your sweet, sweet holiday turkey... I hope you'll all choke, just a little bit.