Yeardley Smith credited as playing...
Lisa Simpson
- Lisa: It's awful being a kid; no one listens to you.
- Grampa Simpson: It's rotten being old; no one listens to ya!
- Homer Simpson: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me-no matter how dumb my suggestions are.
- Can Of Nuts: Nuts and gum: together at last!
- Lisa: They cannot keep making dolls like this! Something has to be done!
- Marge: [after a long pause] Lisa, ordinarily I'd say you should stand up for what you believe in. But you've been doing that an awful lot lately!
- Bart Simpson: Yeah! You made us march in that gay rights parade!
- Homer Simpson: And we can't watch Fox because they own those chemical weapons factories in Syria.
- Lisa: Millions of girls will grow up thinking that this is the right way to act.
- [Breathlessly]
- Lisa: That they can never be anything more than vacuous ninnies, whose only goal is to look pretty, land a rich husband, and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends, talking about how damn terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband!
- Bart Simpson: Just what I was gonna say.
- Lisa: [Screams and throws the doll out the window]
- Lisa: I can believe you're just going to let your daughter live in a world where this... THIS is their role-model.
- Marge: I had a Malibu Stacy doll when I was little and I turned out all right. Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream.
- Malibu Stacy: [Lisa pulls on Malibu Stacy's string] Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream.
- [Marge murmurs]
- Lisa: That's it I'm calling the company.
- Lisa: Don't you see what's wrong with what Malibu Stacy says?
- Celeste: There's something wrong with what my Stacy says.
- [the girl pulls the string to reveal Spider-Man's voice]
- Malibu Stacy Voice: My Spidey Sense is tingling. Anybody call for a web-slinger?
- [while making the doll for Lisa]
- Lisa: Don't forget to get my mom's hair just right.
- Stacy Lavelle: I think we'll use someone else for the hair.
- Lisa: [pointing to her head] How about me?
- Stacy Lavelle: Well...
- Bart Simpson: [pointing to his head] How about me?
- Stacy Lavelle: Oh...
- Homer Simpson: [pointing to his head] How about me?
- Stacy Lavelle: YOU ALL HAVE HIDEOUS HAIR!
- [everyone gasps]
- Stacy Lavelle: I mean from a design point of view.
- [everyone approves in agreement]
- Lisa: Excuse me, Miss Lavelle? I'd like to talk to you about Malibu Stacy?
- Stacy Lavelle: You have any idea how many kids have tried to track me down?
- Lisa: Am I the first?
- Stacy Lavelle: ...Yes.
- Lisa: All right! Now all we need is a name.
- Bart Simpson: How 'bout Blabbermouth, the Jerky Doll for Jerks?
- Lisa: How 'bout Minerva, after the Roman goddess of wisdom?
- Stacy Lavelle: Mm, not enough commercial appeal.
- Bart Simpson: Wendy Windbag? Ugly Doris? Hortense, the Mule-Faced Doll?
- Stacy Lavelle: I think we should name her after Lisa. We'll call her Lisa Lionheart.
- Bart Simpson: No, Loudmouth Lisa! Stupid Lisa Garbage Face! I can't stand this any longer. Somebody please pay attention to me! Hello! Pay attention to me. Look at me! I'm Bart, I'm Bart. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.