The Simpsons (TV Series)

Life on the Fast Lane (1990)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jacques : Mimosa?

  Marge Simpson : I'm a married woman. Please don't call me that.

• Jacques : [seeing the name "Homer" engraved on Marge's bowling ball]  It is nice to meet you... Homer

  Marge Simpson : Oh, no no. Homer is my... uh... Ball's name. I'm Marge.

  Jacques : Your fingers are so slender, so feminine. They are far too tapered for the ball you are using. You need something lighter, more delicate. Here, use my ball.

  Marge Simpson : No, no thank you, Mr... uh... Brunswick

  [seeing the name on his ball] 

• Marge Simpson : Jacques - I'm a married woman.

  Jacques : I know, I know; my mind says "Stop!", but my heart and my hips cry "Proceed!"

• Bart Simpson : Hey, Mom, how come you're not putting on any of my perfume?

  Marge Simpson : [hesitates, clears throat]  Hmm... mm! I'm saving it... for a special occasion.

  Bart Simpson : [angrily]  What the hell are you talking about? There's gallons of it!

  Homer : [shouts]  Bart!

  Marge Simpson : [unconvincingly]  But this occasion is already so special, if we made it any more special, we might end up making it less special.

  Bart Simpson : Gotcha. Told you she liked mine better.

  Lisa Simpson : [rolls eyes]  Oh, brother!

• Marge Simpson : [after bowling a strike for the first time under Jacques' tutelage]  You're a very good teacher.

  Jacques : Yes, I am a very good teacher, and I can teach you everything. I can tell you what the little arrows on the wood floor mean. Which frame is the beer frame? I bet you don't know how to make a five-seven-ten split, do you Marge?

  Marge Simpson : No.

  Jacques : Well, first of all you yell "the eight-pin is a cop".

  [Marge starts laughing] 

  Jacques : Let it out, Marge. Laugh loud.

  [she does] 

  Jacques : Laugh out loud, you'll lose weight.

  Marge Simpson : Oh, that's very funny.

  Jacques : Feels good.

  Marge Simpson : Gee, I didn't realise there was so much to this game. What do you charge for lessons?

  Jacques : $25.

  Marge Simpson : [a bit taken aback]  $25?

  Jacques : It's a 40 dollar value.

  Marge Simpson : Well, alright. When do we start?

  Jacques : [he leans in seductively]  We have already begun.