The Simpsons (TV Series)

Krusty Gets Kancelled (1993)

Hank Azaria: Coastguard, Gabbo, Arthur Crandall, Bumblebee Man, Cameraman, Old Jewish Man, Snake, Tour Guide, Moe Szyslak, Mr. Johannson, Krusty Komeback Special Director, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Krusty Komeback Special Assistant, Chief Wiggum

Quotes 

• [Krusty is trying to talk Sideshow Mel into quitting his job a fast-food joint] 

  Krusty the Clown : But you gotta come back, Mel! We're a team!

  Sideshow Mel : No, Krusty, you always treated me rather shabbily. On our last show, you poured liquid nitrogen down my pants, and cracked my buttocks with a hammer!

  Krusty the Clown : Ah, come on. You wanna spend your life hanging out with a bunch of dorky teenagers?

  Squeaky Voiced Teen : Here's your taco, Mister. Whoops, it fell in the fryer. I'll get it out. Ow! Ow! Ow-w-w! Ow-w-w!

  Sideshow Mel : Sorry Krusty, I like it here. Mr. Johannson treats me with dignity.

  Mr. Johannson : Is this clown bothering you, Mel?

  Sideshow Mel : It's all right, Mr. Johannson, I'll handle it.

  Squeaky Voiced Teen : Here's your taco, sir.

  Krusty the Clown : I don't want it!

  Squeaky Voiced Teen : But this comes out of my salary! If I had a girlfriend, she'd kill me.

• [the Red Hot Chili Peppers are performing at Moe's bar] 

  Bart : Hey, Red Hot Chili Peppers, do you want to appear on a Krusty comeback special?

  Flea : Sure, if you can get us outta this gig.

  Bart : No problemo.

  [Bart points to the wall behind Moe] 

  Bart : Hey Moe, look over there.

  Moe : What? What am I looking at?

  [Bart and the Red Hot Chili Peppers walk out the door] 

  Moe : I'm gonna stop looking here in a second. What, is *that* it?

  [Homer walks into the bar] 

  Homer : Hey Moe, can I look too?

  Moe : Sure, but it'll cost ya.

  Homer : My wallet's in the car.

  [He runs outside] 

  Moe : He is so stupid. And now, back to the wall...

• [the Red Hot Chili Peppers walk into Moe's bar in their underwear] 

  Anthony Kiedis : What's up, Moe.

  Flea : HEY MOE!

  Moe Szyslak : Hey! You guys can't come in here dressed like that!

  Dr. Julius Hibbert : [In his underwear]  Get with the time, Moe.

  Chief Wiggum : [In his underwear]  Yeah, I say if it feels good, do it.

  Dr. Julius Hibbert : Alright.

  [stretches Wiggum's underwear and snaps him with them - laughs histerically] 

  Chief Wiggum : Don't snap my undies.

• Anthony Kiedis : You told our agent this place holds 30,000 people.

  Moe : It does. We had 30,000 here last night. Now play. The audience is getting restless.

  Barney : [flicking a lighter]  We want chilly-willy. We want chilly-willy.

• [while Krusty is staying with the Simpsons, trying to lose weight, he and Homer are boxing in the living room] 

  Krusty the Clown : [drops his hands]  Oh, why am I bothering? It's hopeless.

  Gabbo : [on TV]  Hi, kids! It's me, Gabbo!

  [He laughs in imitation of Krusty, who goes berserk and starts punching Homer ferociously. Maggie, alarmed, grabs the TV remote and changes the channel] 

  Scott Christian : Pork prices rose in early trading today...

  [Homer rallies and counterattacks, punching Krusty across the room] 

• Gabbo : And now it's time for another patented Gabbo crank call! Oh, I love these!

  Bart : I can't believe it! He stole this bit from Krusty!

  Lisa Simpson : Yeah, well, Krusty stole it from Steve Allen.

  Grandpa Simpson : Oh, everything's stolen nowadays. Why, the fax machine is nothing but a waffle iron with a phone attached.

• Cameraman : Hey, boyo, what's so funny?

  Bart : Well, it's... nah, you wouldn't be interested. It's too lowbrow.

  Cameraman : No, I'm quite lowbrow.

  Bart : Well, somebody just wrote a bawdy limerick on the men's room wall.

  Cameraman : This I gotta see!

• Moe Szyslak : oh it can we had 30 thousand in here last night. now come on guys' play the audience. is getting restless.