Yeardley Smith credited as playing...
Lisa Simpson
- Apu: [singing] Whether igloo, hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome, there's no structure I have been to which I'd rather call my home. When I first arrived, you were all such jerks, but now I've come to love your quirks. Maggie with her eyes so bright, Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright, Lisa can philosophize, Bart's adept at spinning lies, Homer's a delightful fella, sorry about the salmonella.
- Homer: [laughing] That's okay.
- Apu: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Now here's the tricky part. Oh, won't you rhyme with me? Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
- Marge: Their floors are sticky-mart.
- Lisa: They made dad sick-e-mart.
- Bart: Let's hurl a brick-e-mart.
- Homer: The Kwik-E-Mart is real... D'OH!
- Homer, Marge, Lisa, Bart: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
- Apu: Not me!
- Homer, Marge, Lisa, Bart: Forget the Kwik-E-Mart. Goodbye to Kwik-E-Mart. Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
- Apu: Not me.
- Homer: Everything really wrapped up nicely. Hmm, much quicker than usual.
- Marge: I guess we've learned that happiness is wherever you find it.
- Homer: And we've all found happiness. Every one of us.
- Apu: [Sobbing]
- Homer: Hey, what's that sound?
- Apu: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? I do.
- Homer: Hey, he's not happy at all. He lied to us through song! I hate it when people do that!
- Homer: [groans] Rancid meat attack! Stupid parasites! Is there no way I can find justice?
- Kent Brockman: If you have a consumer complaint, just call this number.
- Homer: Boring.
- Lisa: Dad, you should blow the whistle on the Kwik-E-Mart.
- Kent Brockman: And now, a message from the Church of Latter-Day Saints.
- [Bite Back dog starts barking]
- Lisa: Dad, are you listening to me?
- Homer: Shh! Lisa, the dog is barking.