Harry Shearer creditado como jogando...
Kwik-E-Mart Customer #2 • Dr. Hibbert • TV Announcer • Kent Brockman • Kwik-E-Mart Official #1 • Monstromart Announcer • Hare Krishna • President and C&E of Kwik-E-Mart • Thief
- The Preisdent of the Kwik-E-Mart: Approach, my sons. You may ask me three questions.
- Apu: That's great, because all I need is one.
- Homer: Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
- The Preisdent of the Kwik-E-Mart: Yes.
- Homer: Really?
- The Preisdent of the Kwik-E-Mart: Yes.
- Homer: You?
- The Preisdent of the Kwik-E-Mart: Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you. Thank you, come again.
- Apu: But sir, I!
- The Preisdent of the Kwik-E-Mart: Thank you, come again.
- [Homer and Apu are leaving the Kwik-E-Mart]
- Homer: Well, that was a big bust. Is he really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
- Apu: Ah, fired. After all these years of loyal service. I don't want to live anymore!
- [grabs one of the spoiled hot dogs]
- The Preisdent of the Kwik-E-Mart: [fighting him for the wiener] Give me that wiener!
- Apu: No! I don't want to live, sir!
- The Preisdent of the Kwik-E-Mart: You give me that wiener!
- [Apu tries to put it in his mouth]
- The Preisdent of the Kwik-E-Mart: No, Apu, it's not worth it!
- Thief: [an armed robber enters the Kwik-E-Mart] Alright you! Hand over the cash and don't try any funny stuff!
- James Woods: Hey pal. I assure you if I tried any funny stuff you would be in hysterics.
- Thief: Hey, you're James Woods.
- James Woods: [flattered] Oh, thank you. Yes. Thank you.
- Thief: Well, Mr Woods. Your new song is gonna be "No. 3 With a Bullet".
- [cocks the gun]
- James Woods: Er... I'm not a singer.
- Thief: Shut up!
- [the thief takes aim]
- Apu: Nooooooooo!
- [the thief fires but Apu takes the bullet by acting as a human shield so the thief hightails it]
- James Woods: Apu!
- Apu: Oh! The searing kiss of hot lead. How I missed you. I mean... I think I'm dying.
- [Apu loses consciousness]
- James Woods: Oy.
- Dr. Julius Hibbert: Well, see, Homer's illness was either caused by ingesting spoiled food or
- [laughs]
- Dr. Julius Hibbert: some sort of voodoo curse.
- Patty Bouvier: Hey.
- [Selma holds up a Homer voodoo doll with multiple voodoo pins in its eyes]
- Patty Bouvier: We've just been working the eyes.
- Dr. Julius Hibbert: You are a very lucky man, Apu. You see, the bullet ricocheted off another bullet that was lodged in your chest from a previous robbery.
- Homer: [groans] Rancid meat attack! Stupid parasites! Is there no way I can find justice?
- Kent Brockman: If you have a consumer complaint, just call this number.
- Homer: Boring.
- Lisa: Dad, you should blow the whistle on the Kwik-E-Mart.
- Kent Brockman: And now, a message from the Church of Latter-Day Saints.
- [Bite Back dog starts barking]
- Lisa: Dad, are you listening to me?
- Homer: Shh! Lisa, the dog is barking.