- Male Network Executive: [trying to find a family to appear on a reality show]
- Female Network Executive: This family's pretty good.
- Male Network Executive: But isn't the dad Bill Cosby?
- Bill Cosby: Y'see, I gotta get back on the TV, coz with the Osbournes, and the soft-core porns and the dogs poopin' and nobody scoopin' and the veesa bola and the ah! Ah! Ah!
- Female Network Executive: We need a family that hasn't been on TV forever. Let's try the Simpsons.
- [the Simpsons watch "Law and Order: Elevator Inspectors Unit"]
- Elevator Inspector 1: Here's the problem, Inspector: the Floor 5 button doesn't light up.
- Elevator Inspector 2: I think I'm gonna be sick.
- Homer Simpson: Wow, they had an army helmet under every bed?
- Mitch Hartwell: Uh Mr. Simpson, you're supposed to go to the bathroom in it.
- Homer Simpson: Befoul an army helmet? You'd like that wouldn't ya... hippie!
- Marge Simpson: Bart, honey, would you like some more cod liver oil?
- Bart Simpson: Yes, mum.
- [he gulps it down]
- Bart Simpson: I thought I was regular before, but I was wrong!
- Mitch Hartwell: Hi I'm Mitch Hartwell, creator of The 1895 Challenge. And by 'creator' I mean I saw it on Dutch television, and tweaked the title.
- Female Network Executive: They go to pieces over nothing. They're perfect for reality TV!
- Homer Simpson: Where's that kid with my latte? He's not coming, is he... IS HE?
- [Homer drops to the ground and begins sobbing]
- Homer Simpson: We can't give up, we're on TV. And when you're on TV, you dig in your claws and you never let go - just like Bill Moyers!
- Marge Simpson: We are not staying at Moe's. Maggie's already drunk on the fumes. And she's a mean drunk.