Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Wizard (1998)

Grace Zabriskie: Mrs. Ross

Quotes 

• Elaine Benes : Oh, Mrs. Ross, Mr. Ross.

  Mrs. Ross : Oh, you're George's friend.

  Mr. Ross : We saw him in the city this weekend. What happened to his place in the Hamptons?

  Elaine Benes : [Elaine bursts out laughing and can't stop]  The *Hamptons?* George Costanza? I -

  [laughs more] 

  Elaine Benes : I don't think so!

  [continues laughing as she leaves] 

  Elaine Benes : Have a good one.

• Mrs. Ross : George, the Susan Ross Foundation is having an event this weekend.

  George Costanza : Oh, I just, uh, leased a house, out in the Hamptons, and I've *got* to get out there this weekend and sign the papers.

  Mrs. Ross : Thank you for calling, George.

  [she moves to hang up the phone] 

  George Costanza : Oh, sure. I mean, after all, you were almost my, uh, uh, okay, I gotta go.

• [George is on the telephone] 

  George Costanza : Uh, Mrs. Ross, it's - it's George.

  Mrs. Ross : Who?

  George Costanza : George Costanza, Susan's, uh, friend?... Long time, no speak.

• [George comes upon Mr. and Mrs. Ross] 

  George Costanza : Rosses.

  Mr. Ross : George, we were just talking about you.

  George Costanza : [nervously]  Oh...

  [more confidently] 

  George Costanza : Well, sorry I missed that, uh, charity thing, but this was one of those truly glorious Hampton weekends that you always hear about.

  Mrs. Ross : [falsely interested]  Really?

  George Costanza : Yeah, I may move out there.

  [the Rosses look bored] 

  George Costanza : I mean it - I'll do it!... Okay, I'll see you later.... Keep it real!

• [George is driving the Rosses to the Hamptons to visit his fictitious house] 

  George Costanza : ...and that leads into the master bedroom.

  Mrs. Ross : Tell us more.

  George Costanza : Wanna hear more?... The master bedroom opens into the solarium.

  Mr. Ross : Another solarium?

  George Costanza : Yes, two solariums. Quite a find.... And, I... have horses, too.

  Mr. Ross : What are their names?

  George Costanza : [after a pause]  Snoopy and Prickly Pete.... Should I keep driving?

  Mrs. Ross : Oh, look: an antique stand. Pull over; we'll buy you a housewarming gift.

  George Costanza : [chuckles and speaks to himself]  Housewarming gift....

  [louder] 

  George Costanza : All right - we're taking it up a notch!