Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Bill Pullman/New Edition (1996)

Norm MacDonald: Various, Weekend Update Anchor

Quotes 

• Norm MacDonald : Last week a buyer in Oman paid $390,000 for a camel. The highest price ever paid for a camel. Even in the middle east many are wondering why anyone would pay that much... .

  [looks over his shoulder to the picture of a camel] 

  Norm MacDonald : Good God, that's a sexy camel! That is a... take a look at this. I think its his eyes.

• Bob Dole : Under his administration, over seventy million Americans were incinerated by aliens from outer space!

  President Thomas J. Whitmore : Well, at seems as though the Senator has finally decided to go negative. I guess he hopes to distract voters from the real issues, the ones that matter to the average American.

  Bob Dole : The average American's dead!

• Norm MacDonald : While jogging on the beach in San Diego this weekend, President Clinton was berated by tourist Valerie Parker who shouted at him, quote: 'You're a draft-dodging, yellow-bellied liar and you're a disgrace to the office of the Presidency, to your gender and to this nation' and then added: 'I am still going to vote for you'.

• Norm MacDonald : During a recent interview on 20/20 long time O.J.Simpson friend Robert Kardashian said he now believes Simpson may be guilty, though he did add that had he believed O.J. was guilty at the time, he never would have agreed to hide his bloody clothes and knife.

• Norm MacDonald : In Virginia, police are looking for a stripper who stabbed a man for telling her she was too fat to strip. Police warn that the woman is armed and extremely fat.