Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

William Shatner/Lone Justice (1986)

A. Whitney Brown: Various

Quotes 

• William Shatner : [at a Star Trek convention]  You know, before I answer any more questions there's something I wanted to say. Having received all your letters over the years, and I've spoken to many of you, and some of you have traveled... y'know... hundreds of miles to be here, I'd just like to say... get a life, will you people? I mean, for crying out loud, it's just a TV show! I mean, look at you, look at the way you're dressed! You've turned an enjoyable little job, that I did as a lark for a few years, into a colossal waste of time! I - I mean, how old are you people? What have you done with yourselves?

  [pointing to a man wearing Spock ears] 

  William Shatner : You, you must be almost 30. Have you ever kissed a girl?

  [the man hangs his head in shame] 

  William Shatner : I didn't think so. There's a whole world out there. When I was your age, I didn't watch television, I lived. So move out of your parents' basements, and get your own apartments, and grow the hell up! I mean it's just a TV show, damn it. It's just a TV show!

  Charlie : Are - are you saying then we should pay more attention to the movies?

  William Shatner : No! That's not what I'm saying at all! Hey, you guys are the lamest bunch of - I've never seen - I can't believe these people - I mean, I really can't understand what's...

  [Shatner walks off stage and argues with the emcee. They start to shove each other] 

  Second Emcee : Uh... that was William Shatner, ladies and gentlemen. Uh, I'd like to remind you Trekkers that we have some fine refreshments from all over the galaxy... Coke, Diet Coke, Bubble Up, Orange, I believe. We...

  William Shatner : [the emcee waves the contract in front of Shatner who comes back on stage] 

  William Shatner : Of course that speech was a recreation of the Evil Captain Kirk from episode - um -

  [emcee whispers] 

  William Shatner : 37. Uh... the name -

  [emcee whispers again] 

  William Shatner : "The Enemy Within".

  [the crowd applauds] 

  William Shatner : Yeah, yeah, yeah. So thank you and - and Live long and prosperous. So everybody, set your phasers on stun 'cause this convention's ahead warp factor 9. Y'know? Right! All right. Warp factor 9.