Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV Series)
Terrible Things (1996)
Nick Bakay: Salem Saberhagen
Quotes
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Sabrina Spellman : Ah, is it time for Salem to be wormed again?
Salem Saberhagen : No, worse. I have to do community service.
Zelda Spellman : It's part of his punishment for attempting global conquest.
Salem Saberhagen : As if being a cat for a hundred years wasn't enough, Zelda had to put me in a pets for prisoners program.
Zelda Spellman : I gave you a choice, you could have done highway cleanup.
Salem Saberhagen : Yeah, cats do real well on highways.
Zelda Spellman : Stop complaining and get your wormy little butt down stairs in 2 minutes. It's time to pay your debt to society.
Salem Saberhagen : Can't I just write a cheque?
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Sabrina Spellman : I don't know what your problem is. It's nice to help people.
Salem Saberhagen : And what nice things have you done lately?
Sabrina Spellman : Me? I do nice things all the time.
Salem Saberhagen : Really? Since you got your magical powers, all I've seen you do is change your clothes and make brussel sprouts disappear.
Sabrina Spellman : That's not true and I'll prove it. I'll use my magic to do 3 nice things before the end of school today. Easy.
Salem Saberhagen : Not so easy. Before you shoot your little finger off, you'd better consider the consequences or ter-rible things could happen.
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Sabrina Spellman : How was jail?
Salem Saberhagen : Not bad, there's a guy in solitary convinced Alan Derchowitze appeared to him as a talking cat. I told him I'd call the governor and plead his innocence.
Sabrina Spellman : See? I told you it was nice to help people.
Salem Saberhagen : Are you kidding? I'm not calling.