- Sabrina Spellman: It's an interesting theory, Jenny but I don't think there's a force field around this table.
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Then why isn't anyone signing up to adopt a Grandparent?
- Sabrina Spellman: Do you think it's clear that these adoptions are not legally binding?
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Libby, can I sign you up for the Adopt-a-Grandparent programme?
- Libby Chessler: Actually I came over here to tell you guys about my new community service, it's the Adopt-a-life programme. May I sign you up?
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Well, at least we've filled the sign up sheet.
- Sabrina Spellman: Yeah, but it's all Harvey and... Mighty Mouse!
- Harvey Kinkle: This is already better than visiting my real grandparents, I don't have to take my ear rings out.
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Did you see that? Libby treated me like a human.
- Harvey Kinkle: I'm glad we took a picture because Sabrina's gonna think we pulled a Yeltzin.
- Harvey Kinkle: Yeah, I only wish we could have gotten someone cool to be here.
- Sabrina Spellman: Thanks a lot!
- Harvey Kinkle: You know what I mean, someone others follow.
- Sabrina Spellman: Like Libby the lord high empress of Westbridge?
- Harvey Kinkle: I thought she was sophomore class president?
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Libby would never show her face here.
- Harvey Kinkle: Maybe we could fake it. My dad says that Russia's on their third Boris Yeltzin.
- Libby Chessler: Harvey, you were at the Senior Center. You didn't see me there right?
- Harvey Kinkle: Libby, you did a good thing. Deal with it.
- Libby Chessler: I've been framed.
- Zelda Spellman: I see the hair spell kicked in.
- Hilda Spellman: I probably shouldn't have had that second bowl of hair soup but I thought mutton chops would be nice for a change.
- Zelda Spellman: You look like Gregg Allman.
- Hilda Spellman: I'll take that as a compliment.
- Zelda Spellman: I'm starting to feel really weird about the age difference. I mean normally I don't care about these things but Rick keeps bringing up stuff that makes me feel old.
- Hilda Spellman: Like what?
- Zelda Spellman: Oh, he keeps talking about how he can't wait for the turn of the century. Big deal, I've done that five times.
- Hilda Spellman: Oh, and it's always the same. I've partied like it was sixteen ninety-nine, seventeen ninety-nine, eighteen ninety-nine, this time I'm staying home.
- Zelda Spellman: Exactly. I think I'm going to brake off our relationship.
- Hilda Spellman: Oh, you haven't even given him a chance.
- Zelda Spellman: You grow a little facial hair and suddenly you're on his side.
- Libby Chessler: You do a good deed, you get a little back.
- Mr. Eugene Pool: [Sabrina laughing] What's so funny?
- Sabrina Spellman: Oh, um... the word cochleae.
- Sabrina Spellman: You see, Jenny and I started this adopt-a-grandparent programme. And then Libby got involved and now she's queen of the Senior Center. Why does she always have to win?
- Hilda Spellman: Sabrina, charities not a contest. It sounds like when Libby wins, everybody wins.
- Sabrina Spellman: Not me, I lost! She stole my adopted grandmother.
- Hilda Spellman: Well, then why don't you get a new one?
- Sabrina Spellman: Because all the good ones are taken.
- Hilda Spellman: Just wait, people get old all the time and remember, virtue is it's own reward.
- Hilda Spellman: Zeldy, do what you want but, er, my female intuition tells me you still like this guy and if that's true you shouldn't let age get in the way. You're as young as you feel. I'm six hundred and twelve, do I look it?
- Libby Chessler: You said I was going to meet Ethan Hawke.
- Nana: Well... you're not.
- Libby Chessler: So you lied to me.
- Nana: Oh, that's a little harsh. In my day we called them tall tails.
- Nana: [referring to Libby] Oh I'll miss her, she's such a sweet girl.
- Sabrina Spellman: Nana, you an excellent judge of character.