Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV Series)
Quiz Show (1998)
Caroline Rhea: Hilda Spellman
Quotes
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Hilda Spellman : I've got it! I remember how to turn myself into fire.
Salem Saberhagen : If it involves dried branches and kerosene, it's not really magic.
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Hilda Spellman : Didn't you once storm out in the middle of a class and never come back?
Zelda Spellman : Yes, but that was only because they kept asking questions.
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Hilda Spellman : Oh, no. I knew this day would come. Zelda, there's no music.
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Zelda Spellman : Guess who's going to be your new substitute teacher. Me.
Sabrina Spellman : Great. You know, fitting in is hard enough without someone calling me sweet pea.
Hilda Spellman : I thought I was the only one you called sweet pea.
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Hilda Spellman : I think I'm turning into wind. I feel a little breeze.
Salem Saberhagen : That's just the life going out of us.
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Hilda Spellman : I know you can do this. You're just not thinking.
Sabrina Spellman : Yes, I am. I'm talking, aren't I? Don't you have to think to be able to talk?
Hilda Spellman : No. Parrots talk.
Sabrina Spellman : So now I'm a parrot. I'm as dumb as a bird. Is that it?
Hilda Spellman : That's not what I meant. Besides, parrots aren't dumb. At that show at the zoo, they ride bicycles.
Sabrina Spellman : I'm going upstairs. That is, if I can figure out how to use the stairs.
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Hilda Spellman : All you have to do is think like fire.
Sabrina Spellman : Well, that's helpful. I'm really enjoying Vague University.
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Hilda Spellman : Still waiting for someone to say, "Yeah, Hilda, you should go into teaching."
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Sabrina Spellman : I'm so at peace with what's happened between me and the quizmaster. I believe everything happens for a reason.
Salem Saberhagen : And that's why we call this stage denial.
Zelda Spellman : Hi, sweetheart. How you feeling today?
Sabrina Spellman : I can't believe quizmaster hasn't had the decency to call me after all the mean things he said?
Salem Saberhagen : Welcome, anger.
Zelda Spellman : Well, maybe you two just need a little time away from each other.
Sabrina Spellman : [toaster dings] Hey, I bet that's a letter from him. Get to the real grovelling parts.
Zelda Spellman : No, it's from the Witches' Council. It says they're temporarily out of quizmasters, so you'll have to be home-schooled.
Sabrina Spellman : Well, I'm sure you'll be an even better teacher than the quizmaster.
Zelda Spellman : I'm afraid I'm too busy substituting to do it. It's your aunt Hilda.
Hilda Spellman : You know what we haven't played in a long time? Goofy golf.
Sabrina Spellman : No!
Salem Saberhagen : And let's give a big warm welcome to sadness.