Roseanne (TV Series)

One for the Road (1990)

John Goodman: Dan Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dan Conner : All right, Becky, what happened?

  Roseanne Conner : And try telling the truth this time.

  Becky : Look, it was no big deal. We had a couple of tornadoes.

  Roseanne Conner : Oh, it was no big deal, huh? How come you lied?

  Dan Conner : Who made them?

  Becky : I made them.

  Roseanne Conner : I want to know right now. Is this a new thing or a regular thing?

  Becky : I've never done it before.

  Roseanne Conner : Is that the truth?

  Becky : [annoyed]  Yes! What is the problem? You guys drink all the time!

  Dan Conner : First of all, we don't drink all the time. Second of all, we're not talking about us!

  Becky : Look, I have one drink and you guys act like I'm an alcoholic! Oh, quick, I'll call the 800 number!

  Roseanne Conner : We are your 800 number, Becky. And if you got a problem, you better tell us about it right now.

  Becky : We were bored. we were looking for something to do.

  Dan Conner : You want something to do? Find me, I'll give you something to do!

  Becky : I guess I just wasn't thinking.

  Roseanne Conner : For God's sake, Becky, you're 14 years old!

  Becky : Mom, everything I do, everything I feel, it's always, "Well, she's 14". I mean, when you guys do something, people don't go, "Oh, well she's 37."

  Roseanne Conner : [after a pause]  36 and a half.

  Becky : Whatever.

  Dan Conner : You know, Becky, you're gonna find that when people drink, they mostly do it for the wrong reasons.

  Becky : [sarcastically]  So, what are the right reasons?

  Dan Conner : Honey?

  Roseanne Conner : You're grounded!

• Roseanne Conner : [after finding out Becky is drunk, to Darlene]  What the hell went on here? Did you get in the liquor when you were playing the records?

  Becky : [as Darlene hesitates, solemnly]  I was playing the records.

  Dan Conner : Wait a minute... Darlene, I thought you said you were playing the records.

  Darlene Conner : Well, yeah. I mean... I got them out, but Becky was actually playing them.

  Karen Hudson : Who was the bartender?

  Darlene Conner : [to Becky]  Wasn't it that girl who was over here studying with you?

  [Karen glares at Darlene who smiles] 

• Roseanne : [to Mrs. Hudson]  Well, I'm sorry I wasn't here to keep an eye on whatever the hell went on here yesterday.

  Karen Hudson : I'm sorry too. I've got a 14-year-old girl at home with a hangover.

  Roseanne : Well, maybe you should go home and take care of her.

  Karen Hudson : Maybe you guys should shell out a few bucks and get a lock on that liquor cabinet.

  Dan Conner : Thanks, but I think we know how to run our own household.

  Karen Hudson : Yeah, well, don't expect to be seeing my kid around here anymore.

  [leaves the house]