- Mrs. Wellman: [a week after hitting Roseanne with her car] Well, my attorney didn't tell me that she was so seriously injured.
- Crystal Anderson: Well didn't you even call her up and see how she was?
- Mrs. Wellman: Well, my attorney advised me not to. He said it would be an admission of guilt.
- Crystal Anderson: Well ya *are* guilty, Meg! You smashed her car!
- Jackie Harris: [storms back into the beauty shop, in uniform, snarls at Meg] Remember one thing, Wellman, I'm your worst nightmare!
- Becky Conner: You always say how you want better things for us.
- Roseanne Conner: Ah, yea, but I was talking about me and your Dad. You kids already got it too good.
- Mrs. Wellman: Roxanne, I want you to know that, even though you no longer work for the company, we still think of you as part of the Wellman family.
- Roseanne Conner: I don't suppose my health insurance is still good.
- Mrs. Wellman: [laughs]
- Mrs. Wellman: [Roseanne is showing her to the door] Now, why would you feel stupid?
- Roseanne Conner: Because, for some dumb reason, I actually thought that you dropped by to see how I was doing, but you only came by to buy me off.
- Mrs. Wellman: Buy you off?
- Roseanne Conner: Yea, but you bought yourself a huge law-suit, lady, 'cause I'm gonna haul you into court, and I'm gonna squeeze you dry.
- Mrs. Wellman: Well. I hope you have a *very* good attorney.
- Roseanne Conner: [thinking about the incompetent attorney they have, Roseanne is speechless, looks at Dan, Dan is hyperventilating, smiles at Mrs. Wellman, and takes back the check] Let me rephrase that, Meg. Um, I think what I really meant to say was that if, uh, you know, if I, if I woulda bumped into you, I mean I, I woulda called a lawyer too, you know, but first I woulda, maybe, *called* ya to see if you were okay, and, and, and to say 'I'm sorry'.
- Roseanne Conner: The kids are in there eating canned spaghetti.
- Dan Conner: They love canned spaghetti.
- Roseanne Conner: Not for breakfast.
- Becky Conner: [Roseanne's loopy on painkillers] Mom, did you go flying through the windshield?
- Roseanne Conner: No, but I can't wait to try that next.