- David Healy: You know, big brothers are supposed to look out for their kid brothers, and like, help them, and do stuff with them.
- Mark Healy: Well I'd a done stuff with you, but you don't like to do guy-stuff.
- David Healy: I like to do guy-stuff! Who says, drawing isn't something guys do?
- Mark Healy: Guys!
- Roseanne: [trying to get Fred to drop the lawsuit, shouts] I told you before, that I would figure out a way for you to see your kid! I'm *way* more powerful than any *law*!
- Dan: [to Mark, who thinks the women are wrong] Little something I think you oughta know. Women live longer than men, so in the end... they're never wrong.
- David Healy: D.J., who would you rather have for a big brother: me or Mark?
- D.J.: You.
- David Healy: [to Mark] See!
- D.J.: Because you can't beat me up like Becky and Darlene can.
- Roseanne: Well Dan, I guess you're just not the man I thought you were... and I wasn't too happy with that one!
- Becky Conner-Healy: We should've known, Mom, men stick together no matter how butt headed their argument is.