"Roseanne" Don't Make Room for Daddy (TV Episode 1994) - Roseanne Barr as Roseanne Conner

Jackie : [looking at Jackie's baby through ultra-sound] Look at the little feet, and the spine. And what's on its head? It looks like it's wearing a little cap.

Roseanne : Ohhhhhh, thaaaat's what happened to the condom.
Jackie : [upset] That is a legal document. Fred is suing me for custody of my baby!

Roseanne : Oh my God. You're *kidding* me!

Jackie : [hysterically] No! It's all right there! He wants my baby! It's not even born yet, he - he's suing me for custody of my *stomach*!
Fred : Save your breath, Roseanne, you're not gonna talk me into dropping this lawsuit.

Roseanne : Well, maybe I can talk you into begging for your life.
Roseanne : [trying to get Fred to drop the lawsuit, shouts] I told you before, that I would figure out a way for you to see your kid! I'm *way* more powerful than any *law*!
Dan : [relieved not to see Roseanne anywhere, turns around] Ahhh...

[sees Roseanne]

Dan : Hey!

Roseanne : Ahh hey to you too!
Roseanne : Well Dan, I guess you're just not the man I thought you were... and I wasn't too happy with that one!
Jackie : I know what to do, we'll hire a hitman.

Roseanne : Jackie!

Jackie : No, I know what I'm talking about, remember that woman we saw on TV she hired a guy for 500 bucks?

Roseanne : Yeah, and the reason she was on TV is because she got caught!

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner