Roseanne (TV Series)

Do You Know Where Your Parents Are? (1990)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Quotes 

• Dan : [the girls missed curfew again]  We said 9:00, we meant 9:00.

  Roseanne : Yeah, 'cause see, we have this really crazy idea that you actually listen when we speak. And when you're not here by nine, we figure you have a reason, and if we're not hearing that reason from you, then we just sit here and make up our own reason, like that you're laying in a ditch somewhere

  Becky : We would've called, but there was no phone in the ditch we were laying in... Ha Ha?

• Dan : Whatcha doin'?

  Roseanne : Oh, I'm packing D.J.'s little duffle bag. He's going to stay over at little Warrens house tonight.

  Dan : You think that's a good idea? I mean, isn't little Warren the one that tied all those squirrel together?

  Roseanne : No! That was D.J.... Little Warren just stunned 'em.

• Roseanne : What was the second thing you noticed about me?

  Dan : [chuckles at the memory] 

  Roseanne : What, what, what?

  Dan : Ah, those big brown eyes. Like two chained Dobermans waiting to rip your leg off.

• Roseanne : [talking to Dan about when he asked her to be his girlfriend]  You said you'd make the happiest girl in the whole U.S.A.

  DJ : Mom! The toilet's broken!

  Roseanne : Liar.

• Becky : [trying to get their curfew extended with compliments]  You look real nice, Mom.

  Roseanne : Thank you. Eleven o'clock.

  Darlene : [quietly to Becky]  Not "nice", "thin". "Thin"!