Norman Lovett credited as playing...
Holly
- Holly: We have enough food to last for 30,000 years, but we've only got one After Eight mint left, and everyone's too polite to take it.
- [on the two fighters tracking Red Dwarf]
- Holly: They're from Earth.
- Lister: That's 3 million years away.
- Holly: They're from the Norweb Federation.
- Lister: What's that?
- Holly: The North Western Electricity Board. They want you, Dave.
- Lister: Me? Why? What for?
- Holly: For your crimes against humanity.
- Lister: You what?
- Holly: It seems when you left Earth, 3 million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen. Do you know what happens to sausages left unattended for 3 million years?
- Lister: Yeah, they go mouldy.
- Holly: Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eights of the Earth's surface. Also, you left £17.50 in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest, you now own 98% of all the world's wealth. And because you've hoarded it for 3 million years, nobody's got any money except for you and Norweb.
- Lister: Why Norweb?
- Holly: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here for £180 billion.
- Lister: £180 billion? You're kidding?
- Holly: [wearing a silly face mask] April fool.