- Ted: I'm so disappointed.
- Michael Novotny: I know, I fucked up!
- Ted: I don't mean that. All the porno flicks I've seen that take place in prison always show these hot criminal types in heavy man-on-man action. Nothing like this.
- Emmett Honeycutt: Did I ever mention that I have an irrational but nevertheless quite intense fear of any physical activity that doesn't take place in bed?