- Jim Halpert: [Michael's hands are tied to the rail of the Booze Cruise ship] What happened to you?
- Michael Scott: Captain Jack has a problem with authority.
- Jim Halpert: Right, 'cause you announced that his ship was sinking?
- Michael Scott: Yeah. He just totally lost it. If you ask me, he caused the panic.
- Jim Halpert: What a night.
- Michael Scott: Well, it's nice for you. Your friend got engaged.
- Jim Halpert: She was always engaged.
- Michael Scott: Roy said the first one didn't count.
- Jim Halpert: That's great. You know, to tell you the truth, I used to have a big thing for Pam. So...
- Michael Scott: Really? You're kidding me. You and Pam? Wow! I would have never put you two together. You really hid it well. God! I usually have a radar for stuff like that.
- [sighs]
- Michael Scott: You know, I made out with Jan.
- Jim Halpert: Yeah, I know.
- Michael Scott: Yeah, yeah. Well, Pam is cute.
- Jim Halpert: Yeah. She's really funny, and she's warm, and she's just... Anyway.
- Michael Scott: Well, if you like her so much, don't give up.
- Jim Halpert: She's engaged.
- Michael Scott: BFD. Engaged ain't married.
- Jim Halpert: Huh.
- Michael Scott: [Uncharacteristically serious] Never, ever, ever give up.
- Jim Halpert: Michael stands in front of the boat and says he's king of the world within the first hour, or I give you my next paycheck.
- Dwight Schrute: Don't worry, Michael. I'm taking us to shore.
- Michael Scott: It's a fake wheel, dummy.
- Michael Scott: I see the sales department as the furnace.
- Phyllis: A furnace?
- Jim Halpert: How old is this ship?
- Pam Beesley: How about the anchor?
- Phyllis: What does the furnace do?
- Michael Scott: All right, let's not get hung up on the furnace. It's just... It's the sales... I see the sales department are down there. They're in the engine room, and they're shoveling coal into the furnace. Right? I mean, who saw the movie "Titanic"? They were very important in the movie "Titanic." Who saw it? Show of hands.
- Jim Halpert: Not really sure what movie you're talking about. Are you sure you got the title right?
- Michael Scott: "Titanic."
- Pam Beesley: I think you're thinking of "The Hunt for Red October."
- Dwight Schrute: [thinking he's steering the "Booze Cruise" boat] I was the youngest pilot in Pan Am history. When I was four, the pilot let me ride in the cockpit and fly the plane with him. And I was four and I was great. And I would have landed it, but my dad wanted us to go back to our seats.
- Michael Scott: In an office, when you are ranking people, manager is higher than captain. On a boat, who knows? It's nebulous.
- Dwight Schrute: Okay, fine. Where's my wallet?
- Jim Halpert: Oh, there it is: "J1."
- Dwight Schrute: I don't have any...
- Jim Halpert: Here, have some nickels.
- Dwight Schrute: [putting nickels into vending machine] 5, 10, 15, 20, 25...
- Dwight Schrute: Seasick? Captain Jack says you should look at the moon.
- Michael Scott: Captain Jack's a fart face.
- [throws up]
- Michael Scott: I'm on medication.
- Brenda: Really, what?
- Michael Scott: Vomicillan.
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