- Uncle Fester: [about Pugsley] The child is warped, I tell ya, warped! None of this would'a happened if he hadn't joined the Junior Troopers.
- Granmama Addams: Next thing you know, he'll be staying in all night and playing with toys!
- Gomez Addams: Our son. It's good to see him being dragged off again.
- Morticia Addams: I know. I'm so glad we're back to being one big unhappy family again.
- Uncle Fester: Come on, Pugsley, they just finished putting the new roof back on the library. Let's go blow it off again!