Kris Marshall aufgeführt in der Rolle von...
Nick Harper
- Susan Harper: Going well, I see?
- Janey Harper: My instructor says I need more practice.
- Susan Harper: Of course he would - at £20 a lesson.
- Janey Harper: But my test's in two weeks, mum! Do you want me to fail?
- Susan Harper: You don't have to need your instructor. You just need an adult with you.
- Nick: [Standing up] Ready when you are, Janey!
- Susan Harper: I said an adult.
- [Nick sits back down]
- Susan Harper: But I can't take you. I have three new chores to devise.
- Janey Harper: Er, mum, are you insane? That only leaves one person!
- Susan Harper: Well, I'm sure if you catch him in a good mood...
- Janey Harper: Like I said, my test's in two weeks.
- Susan Harper: ...all you have to do is choose the right moment to ask him...
- Ben: OH, BOLLOCKING HELL!
- Susan Harper: ...which I'm sure will happen one of these days.
- Janey Harper: Keep the dream alive, mum!
- Ben: NEXT DOOR'S SODDING DOG HAS CRAPPED ON THE SODDING DOORSTEP AGAIN!
- Susan Harper: Oh, dear. At least you didn't step in it.
- [Ben shows Susan his dog-poop covered shoe]
- Susan Harper: I'll get you the newspaper.
- Ben: Why can't people control their animals? Huh? How would Mr Casey like it if I sent Nick over to crap on his lawn?
- Nick: I'd do it for cash!
- Nick: Well, I can't sit around here wasting my time all day!
- Ben: Oh, really? Considering a change of career, are we?
- Nick: I already have, mate! Efficiency expert!
- Ben: Isn't that my surgery T-shirt?
- Nick: That's right!
- Ben: Why are you wearing my surgery T-shirt?
- Nick: This is basic asset management. This shirt's losing value when its not in use.
- Ben: Well, I don't want you sweating it up with your freakish bodily fluids! Take it off!
- Ben: Oh, that's great! What a splendid family, huh? I've got a daughter who thinks I'm a joke, a son who thinks I'm demented, a wife who doesn't support me and a... pillock!
- Nick: Look on the bright side, dad! At least we took your mind off Mr Casey!
- Ben: Oh, yes! Mr Casey! Mr Casey!
- Susan Harper: [to Nick] You pillock!
- Susan Harper: Janey's pregnant.
- Ben: [Doing the crossword, not listening] Really? Uh-huh, uh-huh...
- Susan Harper: I'm leaving you.
- Ben: [Still not listening] Good.
- Susan Harper: Nick's wearing your trousers.
- Ben: What? What? Why are you wearing my trousers?
- Nick: Like I said, mate: basic asset management. I mean, you wouldn't leave an aircraft standing around idle.
- Ben: My trousers are not an aircraft!
- Nick: They are when I'm wearing them!
- Ben: Nick, please! Just take them off!
- [Nick tries to undo his belt]
- Ben: No, no! In your room!
- Nick: Alright, mate! Keep your hair on!
- Ben: I will, otherwise I'll find you wearing it!
- Mr. Casey: Mr Harper, I think you've got my newspaper!
- Ben: I think you've got 8cm of my garden!
- Mr. Casey: I think you've been throwing snails over my fence!
- Ben: I think you've been mowing your lawn at 11 o'clock at night!
- Mr. Casey: I think you don't mow your lawn at all!
- Ben: [pause] It's a wilderness garden!
- Mr. Casey: [Points to Nick] And you've been letting him sunbathe out there - in the nude!
- Susan Harper: He never did that!
- Nick: Yes, I did!
- Mr. Casey: ...while my mother was out there taking tea!
- Ben: Oh, really? She shouldn't have been looking!
- Mr. Casey: He was up a tree!
- Nick: I'm a child of nature!
- Susan Harper: So, how was driving with your father?
- Janey Harper: Oh, it went very well.
- Susan Harper: Did he shout much? Did he grab the wheel? How many times did he stamp on the imaginary brake? What do you mean it went very well?
- Janey Harper: He just let me drive. His mind was on something else.
- Nick: Mr Casey?
- Janey Harper: Yep! We followed him around for three hours!
- Susan Harper: Good grief!
- Janey Harper: Dad called it 'reconnaissance'. We went to the supermarket, the leisure centre, the cemetery... Oh, and I got to practice parking - quite a lot, actually!
- Ben: There - the last earthly remains of my shed! I had such plans!
- Nick: Leave it with me, dad. I'll see if I can fix it.
- Ben: No. Don't bother, Nick. Nothing can replace my shed.
- Susan Harper: How about another shed?
- Nick: [laughs] It's alright, Nick. It's alright. She doesn't understand.
- Janey Harper: Well, I don't understand either.
- Nick: Actually, I don't understand.
- Ben: It's just that a man must have a shed.
- Susan Harper: We never knew you had a shed until it burnt down.
- Ben: Well, nevertheless, I feel I've been emasculated. It's like not having a toolbox.
- Nick: You haven't got a toolbox.
- Ben: Haven't I?
- Nick: No. You weren't using it, so... it sort of got sold!
- Ben: What did you do that for?
- Nick: The money?
- Susan Harper: I just thought it'd be a good idea if Mr Casey and your father sat down like two rational adults.
- Nick: But dad's not rational.
- Susan Harper: I know! That's where I'll come in.
- Nick: Haha!
- Susan Harper: While your father's out taking Janey to her driving test, I thought I'd use my people skills to negotiate a truce. Like the United Nations.
- Michael Harper: With as much success.