Married... with Children (TV Series)

Oh, What a Feeling (1989)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : [Al is trying to fix the car]  Alright, I think I got it. Kelly, turn it on.

  Bud : Uh, Dad, you might want to tell Kelly to use the key or she might start rubbing up against it.

• Al : [Al is about to reveal the contents of the box]  And now finally, the fruits of my suffering.

  Kelly : Well, I thought we were the fruits of your suffering, Daddy.

  Al : No, you're the vegetables of my suffering.

• Peggy : You're really mad about this? You know, if anyone should be mad, it's me. You're the one that's hiding money from me.

  Al : That's because you would have spent it all for yourself.

  Peggy : Of course I would! So, why are you acting so suprised?

• Bud : Hi, mum.

  Peggy : Hi, Kelly.

  Kelly : Hi, mum.

  Peggy : Hi, Bud.

  Al : Hi, Peg, and before you say "Hi, the milkman", it's me.

  Peggy : I know, I have a nose.

• [first lines] 

  [Al pushes in the garage his broken down Dodge Ford car to the tune of the Beach Boys 'I Get Around'] 

  Al : Yep, one more payment, and you're all mine.

• Kelly : Hi, Daddy. I saw you pushing the car. Doesn't it work?

  Al : [sarcastic]  Oh, sure it does, honey. It was such a nice day, I didn't want to waste it sitting in the car like all those other jerks on the expressway.

  Kelly : Oh.

  Al : Of course it doesn't work! Honey, if you saw Dad pushing it why didn't you come and give me a hand?

  Kelly : Well, it looked pretty boring. I mean you were going so slow and everything. You know, a person could get a heart attack pushing a car in this heat. And you gotta think about Mom. What would she do if she lost the both of us? If you kick, it's okay she can always marry again, but if I went...

  Al : Kelly, honey! Forget about it, okay? Just give old Dad a chance to push his spleen through his navel.

  Bud : [Bud enters]  Hey, Dad. We saw you pushing the old car. Me and some of my friends thought you'd never make it up the hill.

  Al : Did you ever thing about helping old Dad?

  Bud : In this heat?

  Al : You know, you kids have been so great. Why don't you hop in this car and I'll push the two of you to the ice cream parlor.

  Kelly : Thanks, Dad! Oh, and push it fast so we'll look cool.

• Al : Peg, that money you found and spent was a car fund that I put aside a long, long time ago.

  [Peggy shrugs with indifference] 

  Al : Peg, how could you steal and spend $4,200?

  Peggy : Well, you remember when you used to yell at me because there wasn't any juice in the house? Well, I took some of that money and bought you juice... and a fur coat for me. And then when you demanded dinner? Well, I took more money and bought you a bucket of fried chicken... and a fur coat for Mom. And the rest of it, well... I spend it foolishly.

  Al : Honey, could you come out in the back yard with me? I have the urge to bury something else!

• [Al pushes in an old, rusted AMC Pacer vehicle into the garage to the Walkabout's 'Poor Side of Town'] 

  Peggy : Hi, Honey. I saw you pushing your new car up the street. How do you like it?

  Al : Well, it pushes pretty smooth. But a little tough passing on the expressways. But the handling more than makes up for it.

• Al : All right everybody, let's hold it right there. Now, how long have I known you guys? What, about two, three hundred years? In that time, I've learned to do without several things: a yacht, a summer home, love, respect, food. I can accept that. But I will not live one more day without a car that runs. So, no more advice. I will go out on my own and find my own used-car lot, and if I come home tonight, God willing, it will be behind the wheel of something that goes "vroom!" Al Bundy pushes no more. Now, get out of my car!

• [Al pushes in an old Gremlin vehicle into the garage to the tune of 'King of the Road'] 

  Al : Oh, no... why, God? What have I done? Am I not fit to die?

  Peggy : Whoo! Good choice, Honey. It's a much lighter car.

  Al : Yeah, I can almost pull this one.

• [Al, for the first time ever, DRIVES into the garage in a old Dodge Ford car to the tune of Sam & Dave's 'I'm Walkin'] 

  Kelly : Daddy... you're driving!

  Al : You darn tootin'. What do you think?

  Peggy : It looks just like your old car.

  Al : Peg, you never can relize how important a man's car is and how much it has been used. My old car had just over 99,000 miles on it. This only only has... 18. What does that tell you?

  Bud : [sarcastic]  That this car was only driven one mile per year?

• Al : Peg, let me ask you something. In your travels in the back yard, say about 8 paces from the tree, 12 feet down, did you ever find a box with say about $5000 in it?

  Peggy : Was that yours?