- Hal: [Malcolm hangs up the 'phone as Hal walks in] If that wasn't a relative, I'm going to be very upset.
- Malcolm: Just another college recruiter.
- Hal: [upset, as predicted] Just another college recruiter? Y'know, when I was applying, believe me, there were no recruiters. If I hadn't found that ad inside that matchbook, I may not have pursued higher education at all.
- Malcolm: But they're calling me all the time. I must get ten calls a day.
- Hal: Then each one must be handled like that's the university you're going to. It's called 'options'. Why do you think guys date ugly women?
- Dewey: [duffel bag in hand] I'm all packed up.
- Hal: Good for you. Are you going somewhere?
- Lois: He's going to Francis's. Let's go over the rules again. When you are on the bus, what are you to do?
- Dewey: Talk to no-one, don't let anyone sit next to me, try to look sickly and learning-impaired, cough every few minutes, and nose-picking's OK.
- Lois: Encouraged! And what if you're on the bus for a few hours, and you have to go to the bathroom *really, really bad*?
- Dewey: Still don't go.
- Lois: That's my boy!
- Reese: I hope I didn't keep you up last night with all that noise.
- Malcolm: Geez, Reese, I don't want to hear about your sex life.
- Reese: What? No, I was getting the oil stains out of the driveway. For your information, marriage isn't just about sex. It's about commitment. Anyway, you know we can't have sex until after the waiting period.
- Malcolm: The waiting period?
- Reese: Poor, naive Malcolm. All women, when they get married, require a waiting period of six months to a year. You know, if you got your nose out of a book and started living life a little, you might know these things. Raduca is a delicate flower and it's going to take some time for her to get used to the idea of being with a man.
- Dewey: Francis, you have to get a life.
- Francis: I have a life. I've got my hobbies, my bus bench, the guys at the apartment pool...
- Dewey: I'm only 12, and I can see that this is a dead end. So you know what I should do better than I do.
- Francis: You're just like Mom.
- Dewey: Maybe Mom has a point. Maybe just hanging out by the pool isn't going to be the stepping stone you're hoping for.
- Francis: You never supported me!
- Dewey: All I'm saying is jobs don't just drop out of the sky.
- Francis: I hate you!