M*A*S*H (TV Series)

The Incubator (1973)

Eldon Quick: Capt. Sloan

Quotes 

• Hawkeye : [exasperated at Quartermaster Sloan's denial of his request for a hospital incubator]  We're not asking for a jukebox or a pizza oven!

  Captain Sloan : Oh, I can let you have one of those.

  Henry Blake : No kidding! That would be great on movie nights! You got any of those pizza requisition forms?

  Captain Sloan : [referring to a generic Army requisition form]  Oh, just use one of those standard S-1798s and write in "pizza" where it says "machine gun."

• Henry Blake : Captain Sloan here is with supply.

  Captain Sloan : More accurately, I'm with the 375th Q. M. H. Q., COMSEAPAC, SEOULSEC REPDEP.

  Hawkeye : Maybe I'll have that drink.

  Captain Sloan : Now, the business at hand is an incubator, that is if my lieutenant understood what your colonel said you captains want.

  Hawkeye : Right.

  Trapper : And we need one as soon as possible.

  Captain Sloan : Well, let's see what the good book says.

  Hawkeye : The good book?

  Captain Sloan : The Manual of Supply and Requisition.

  Hawkeye : MANSUPREQ.

  Captain Sloan : Um, "inhalator, indicator, innoculator, infusilator - " Here it is: 437 - stroke - R2, incubator.

  Henry Blake : Thar she blows!

  Captain Sloan : "Device for developing bacterial cultures at constant suitable temperatures." Uh-huh. I see. That certainly makes sense. You can't have one.