M*A*S*H (TV Series)

The Chosen People (1974)

Wayne Rogers: Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre

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Quotes 

• Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : It's not mine!

  Lt. Col. Henry Blake : The mother says it is.

  Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : Well, what does she know? I mean, she's mixing me up with somebody else.

  Capt. Sam Pak : That's possible. You all look alike to us.

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Come on, Radar. Level. Could you be the father?

  Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : Of course I could, but I'm not. I mean, I do, but I didn't!

  Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Do you admit that you know her?

  Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : Sure I know her. She's from the village. I've run into her a few times.

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Well, *once* anyway.

  Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : No! Never!

  Lt. Col. Henry Blake : You'd better be telling the truth, Radar. They're sending someone from the Judge Advocate to question you.

  Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : I'm not worried.

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Radar, why would she pick on you?

  Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : Of all people.

  Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : Now what is that crack? Just 'cause I don't fool around like you guys doesn't mean I don't fool around like you guys!

• Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : You wanna save us the trouble?

  Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : I'm not worried.

  Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : You understand the implications?

  Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : I do.

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Remember that phrase.

• Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : We're going to match the mother's blood type and the baby's blood type against yours.

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : [checks Radar's dog tags]  He's "B."

  Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Stop peeking at my blood.

  Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : And if the baby's blood type doesn't match yours, you're off the hook.

  Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : And if it does?

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Then that means it's possible. In which case you either marry the young lady and take financial responsibility, or if you want the easy way out, we can adopt you and hide you in the attic.