M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Private Charles Lamb (1974)
Gary Burghoff: Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly
Photos
Quotes
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Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : Colonel Andropolis has the thing flown in all the way from Greece, and now the damned lamb has flown the coop!
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Now that's a pretty neat trick.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : U.N. Command in Seoul's called. Boy! Am I in Dutch with the Greeks.
Captain John McIntyre : Heh, heh, heh, heh.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : The man's a fountain of straight lines.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : Go ahead and joke. I'm in trouble up to my whatsis. One more chewing out and my belly button will cave in.
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : Uh, Sir?
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : Not now, Radar!
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : Uh, it's about the lamb, Colonel.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : Where is it?
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : Well, uh. I don't want you to get in trouble, Sir. But, uh, it's been set free.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : Well what horse's pa-toot did that?
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : Um.
[pause]
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : You did, Sir. You gave him a medical discharge this afternoon.
Captain John McIntyre : [reading form] Private Charles Lamb.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : Radar! You tricked me!
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : Well, I didn't wanna see him killed, Sir. I'd rather be barbecued myself with an apple shoved up my face!
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : I gave a discharge to a sheep!
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : He's on his way to Tokyo now.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : On Bo Peep Airlines.
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : A buddy of mine will reroute him to Iowa to my folks. I already radioed them. They're expecting him.
Captain John McIntyre : He can sleep in your room.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Your pants will just fit him.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : I think I'm losing my mind.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Don't fight it, Henry.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : I've got Command on my tail! And a hospital full of Greeks waiting on a lamb that's on a plane on his way to Iowa to become Radar's little brother!
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Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : Aren't you going to stop him?
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Not until the skin is roasted to crispy brown and there's a suggestion of pink inside.
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Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : I love lambs, see? I'm your buddy. I mean, I don't love you like they love you, with peas and carrots.
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Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : What's he going to do with that lamb?
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : If I know our cook, he's gonna make pork chops out of it.
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Frank Burns : Where are you going with all those vegetables?
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : Uh, nowhere, Major. I was just fixing myself a little salad.
Frank Burns : A little salad? You could hide in there till the war was over and nobody'd find you.
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Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : And you also signed an emergency leave for one of the men.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : Which one of the men?
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : Uh, Private Charles Lamb.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : I don't remember any Charles Lamb.
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : Oh yes, you know him, sir, short curly-haired guy.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : Short curly-haired...
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : Yes, he had to take an emergency leave.
Lt. Colonel Henry Blake : Death in the family?
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : Almost.
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Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : [Answering the phone] Colonel Blake's office, the colonel's in conference, but if it's important I can wake him.