- Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: Oh, yeah?
- Major Charles Winchester: Brilliant riposte, Pierce.
- Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: Oh, yeah?
- Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger: [miffed by a competing crazy in camp] The only thing I don't understand is why he's not an officer.
- Major Charles Winchester: I loathe you, Pierce.
- Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: I call your loathe and raise it two despises.
- Corporal 'Boots' Miller: I don't want a section 8. I want to serve my country.
- Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger: Now I know you're crackers.