M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Fade Out, Fade In (1977)
Harry Morgan: Col. Sherman T. Potter
Photos
Quotes
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Charles : Colonel, I, ah, I think I should tell you, my father knows Harry Truman. He doesn't like him, but he knows him.
Col. Potter : Fine, you have dad call Harry, then Harry will call me, and maybe we'll work something out. In the mean time, vamoose.
Charles : Alright Colonel, I am... vamoosing.
[muttering to Radar]
Charles : Fix the phone!
[normal voice]
Charles : But know this. You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice daily swill, but you cannot break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer.
Col. Potter : I think he's starting to get the hang of this place.
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Col. Potter : You're staying because I need you.
Charles : [incensed] And if I refuse?
Col. Potter : You'll be making gravel at Leavenworth! Comprende?
Charles : [resigned] Comprendo.
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Col. Potter : [Hawkeye and B.J. learn that Major Winchester has permanently replaced Frank Burns] Would you rather have Burns?
Hawkeye : He was more fun to be cruel to.
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Capt. Schaeffer : [Klinger and Capt. Schaeffer enter Potter's office, presumably to review Klinger's eligibility for a Section 8 discharge] I expected other officers, Colonel... a review board.
Col. Potter : Road apples, Private!
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : Captain, Colonel.
Col. Potter : Private, Corporal.
Capt. Schaeffer : Private?
Capt. Schaeffer : Well... caught again.
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : Hold it. Wait... wait... wait a minute. I thought...
Col. Potter : Button it, button it!
Capt. Schaeffer : Let him talk.
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : You're my lawyer!
Col. Potter : Your lawyer is a buck private and he's no lawyer.
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : I beg your... How's that?
Col. Potter : According to his captain, a *real* captain, Schaeffer here has been bucking for a Section 8 longer than you have! Busted twice. Done four months in the slammer. Has impersonated a doctor, a bombardier, a tank commander, even a chaplain!
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : A chaplain!
Capt. Schaeffer : At this very moment, somewhere in America, 25 couples are living in sin.
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Col. Potter : Cigar?
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Will it stunt my growth?
Col. Potter : What do you got to lose?
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Is it habit forming?
Col. Potter : Nah. I've been smoking five cigars a day for 45 years. Never got the habit.
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Col. Potter : Well, Major Winchester, I can't tell you how happy I am you've decided to join us. And remember, if you ever have a problem, feel free to stop in. My tent flap is always open.
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Col. Potter : Teddy Roosevelt had a transvestite in his outfit. Rode sidesaddle up San Juan Hill.
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : Is that true, Captain?
Capt. Schaeffer : Could be.
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Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : You shyster! Why did you lie to me, get my hopes up?
Capt. Schaeffer : I figured you'd understand, you're my own kind!
Col. Potter : [Potter whistles for the MP's, they enter] He's all yours, boys.
Capt. Schaeffer : Well, hang in there, Klinger!
[begins to leave with the MP's]
Capt. Schaeffer : I was an MP once, too!
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : I feel like crying.
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Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : Colonel Baldwin assured me this is just temporary.
Col. Potter : Is this the same Colonel Baldwin who owes you $600?
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : [laughs] Yes.
Col. Potter : Need I say more?
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : You mean to tell me that I have to stay here... just because somebody owes me $672.17?
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Col. Potter : Bring me back a Snickers bar.
Radar : With nuts?
Col. Potter : No.
Radar : Milky Way.
Col. Potter : [fidgeting with his teeth] Damn partial.