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Quotes
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Lt. Col. Henry Blake : All right, people, I'm gonna give it to you straight. Starting right here and now, we're all going to have to put our shoulders to the wheel, our noses to the grindstone. We've got to hunker down and pull together, all for one and one for all.
Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : Welcome to the Henry Blake Cliche Festival.
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Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : [Blake and Radar come into the Swamp for the night] Colonel Blake's party!
Hawkeye : We have your reservation, sir. A single bed for yourself and a cradle for your son.
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Let's not have a lot of tongue-wagging in here tonight.
Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : Which bed should I take, sir?
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Well, let me face away from everybody, Radar, on account of me snoring.
Hawkeye : Oh, lovely!
Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : Henry, you're joking.
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Joking? Heh. I could be on the Olympic Snoring team. I snored the siding half off of my house. I even got a fan letter once from the seismograph people at Fordham.
Hawkeye : How are we supposed to sleep with that?
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Well, if it gets too bad, just do what my wife does.
Hawkeye : What's that?
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : [smiling] Hold me close!
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Lt. Col. Henry Blake : [everything in his office had been used for kindling] I mean, I'm speaking to you from deep inside a real big empty.
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Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Radar will be the housing officer. Now, before this is over, we may have to double up or even triple up to save heat. Radar will decide who sleeps with who.
Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : Radar, I'd like to see you right after the meeting.
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Radar : [as Hawkeye and Trapper wrestle with Frank Burns, for his battery-warmed socks] They're hunting socks, sir.
Henry Blake : At this hour?
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Henry Blake : This will be a real test of my leadershipmanship.
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Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Our supply line's been cut.
Maj. Frank Burns : Who did that?
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : ...The other side, Frank.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : We can't do everything ourselves.
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Lt. Col. Henry Blake : [Henry sits down at his desk, which is now a foot shorter] Radar, am I getting taller or is the room shrinking?
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Somebody cut the legs off, sir.
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Oh, that's dirty pool.
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Well they'll burn anything to keep warm, sir.
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : I know, but to cut off a man's legs and steal his drawers...
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Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : I think this entire unit should go on immediate red alert.
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : That makes good sense. I would make it conditional, however.
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : On what?
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : On what does red alert mean?
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Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Henry, did you call Regimental yet?
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Yes, I called Regimental and they said they're doing their best.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : You know there are people at the Alamo still waiting for supplies?
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Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Radar, what's the poop on the overall situation, status-wise?
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Oh, we're not too bad, sir. The food's holding out and the fueI's okay. We are having a little trouble with the... T-paper shortage.
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Oh?
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : People are breaking into the fortune cookies.
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Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Captain Pierce - maintenance and general service and supplies. Major Houlihan, you'll look after the nurses.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Margaret, I'll trade you my maintenance for your nurse looking after.
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Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : Here you go, sir.
[hands a clipboard to Col. Blake]
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Radar, give me this here clipboard I got here.