M*A*S*H (TV Series)
A Smattering of Intelligence (1974)
Wayne Rogers: Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre
Quotes
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Vinnie Pratt : If I know Flagg, he ordered the chopper to crash then got out and hit himself with a hammer.
Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : You're kidding.
Vinnie Pratt : A switch on the way he infiltrated the CID last year: drove his jeep into a wall, then set himself on fire.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Is this guy available for children's parties?
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Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : That Col. Flagg... he's a CPA.
[everyone looks confused]
Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : No, honest. I heard him tell Col. Blake to keep it quiet. That he's here on a secret mission.
Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : Radar, you mean CIA.
Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : I do? Wow!
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Pratt : If I ask the colonel to see the major's file and they're cosubversives, they'll pull the old dossier switch-a-roo, and I'll chalk up a zilch.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Boy I wish you came with English subtitles.
Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : He means he's gonna break into Frank's file tonight. Right?
Pratt : It's called breaking and entering.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : It's a good thing you're a cop. Otherwise, that's illegal.
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Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : Those guys are doped up most of the time anyway.
Maj. Frank Burns : Doped up on patriotism, fella! Something we're in pretty short supply of around here.
Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan : Here, here!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Radar, we're running low. Get another order of "Yankee Doodle."
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Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : Boy, did I ever hear something by accident in the office just now.
Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : Giving the wall a physical again, Radar?