- Isaiah Edwards: Ol' Dan Tucker was a fine ol' man, washed his face in a fryin' pan. Combed his hair with a wagon wheel, died with a toothache in his heel. Get out of the way for Ol' Dan Tucker. He's too late to get his supper. Supper's over and dinner's cookin'. Ol' Dan Tucker just a standin' there lookin'... OHHHHHHHHHH!
- Isaiah Edwards: I couldn't live her kind of life. I'd feel like a hypocrite.
- Caroline Ingalls: I don't understand what you mean.
- Isaiah Edwards: She's a God-fearing person. I'm not. It's as simple as that. Oh, I'm not saying there ain't no God. Just saying that he ain't never had any time for me so I ain't got no time for him.
- Caroline Ingalls: Do you believe in anything?
- Isaiah Edwards: Yes ma'am. I believe in me. That's not enough for Widow Snider.
- Caroline Ingalls: Is it enough for you?
- Isaiah Edwards: You tell me something, ma'am. You tell me why God let my wife and daughter die.
- [Long pause]
- Isaiah Edwards: Well, I'll be gone by the time you get back from church tomorrow. I hate goodbyes. So it's better all the way around if I'm just gone.
- Caroline Ingalls: Mr. Edwards, do you know what you're doing? You're punishing God. And if you go on punishing Him for what happened in the past, you aren't going to have any room for the future. Ii'd be so sorry if you did that.
- Isaiah Edwards: I'd just as soon be drunk than drowned!
- Charles Ingalls: Right now, I'd say you're half and half.
- Charles Ingalls: What did you girls learn in Sunday School today?
- Mary Ingalls: Susan Zigler passed a note to Freddie Hoffman. And it made Amanda Butterfield jealous.
- Charles Ingalls: I mean about religion.
- Mary Ingalls: Oh.
- Caroline Ingalls: The Widow Snider.
- Charles Ingalls: Hm?
- Caroline Ingalls: The Widow Snider.
- Charles Ingalls: What about her?
- Caroline Ingalls: Perfect for Mr. Edwards. Be a whole new life for both of them.
- Charles Ingalls: Typical woman. Matchmaking wrong as usual.
- Caroline Ingalls: Why do you say that?
- Charles Ingalls: I couldn't think of two people more different from each other.
- Caroline Ingalls: Everybody knows opposites attract.
- Charles Ingalls: I always wondered why you went for a shy, sophisticated, educated man like myself.
- Caroline Ingalls: [LONG PAUSE] ... Charles, what did you say?
- Charles Ingalls: I said Goodnight, Dear."