- Mary Ingalls Kendall: I can't believe they'll be here to see our baby, Adam!
- Adam Kendall: Babies, remember? Many, many babies!
- Laura Ingalls: Many babies?
- Mary Ingalls Kendall: Don't worry. He's just joking... I hope.
- Albert Quinn Ingalls: No ma'am, I came back to thank you.
- Harriet Oleson: To thank me? For what?
- Albert Quinn Ingalls: Well, my Pa's been real busy lately, and he hasn't actually read the book himself. I'm hoping he never finds out what's in it. Bye.
- Harriet Oleson: Wait a minute! What do you mean? What's in it?
- Albert Quinn Ingalls: Oh, stuff about my Ma. I can't believe that my own grandfather would write such things down for the whole world to see!
- Harriet Oleson: Really? Like what?
- Albert Quinn Ingalls: I'm too ashamed to repeat them, ma'am.
- Harriet Oleson: Oh Albert, you can tell me. After all, your mother and I are old friends! There isn't anything that you could tell me that would change my opinion about her.
- Albert Quinn Ingalls: Well, there was this one part where my Ma was in a public place, and she...
- Harriet Oleson: What? What did she do?
- Albert Quinn Ingalls: She didn't DO anything.
- Harriet Oleson: Well...
- Albert Quinn Ingalls: She wasn't wearing anything either.
- Harriet Oleson: You mean she was...
- Albert Quinn Ingalls: Naked.
- Adam Kendall: Uncle Theodore had twins, you know.
- Mary Ingalls Kendall: Twins?
- Adam Kendall: Yeah. I even heard of an aunt on my mother's side that had triplets.
- Mary Ingalls Kendall: Are you sure?
- Adam Kendall: Nah, I guess she could have miscounted.