- Wally Cleaver: Julie's not a creepy girl or anything.
- June Cleaver: Oh. Well, we know she's a very nice girl, Wally, or you wouldn't be holding hands with her.
- Wally Cleaver: Well, I wasn't exactly holding hands with her. I mean, uh, my hand was just kind of hanging there and, uh, she took it.
- Theodore Cleaver: Boy, if a girl ever took my hand, I'd slug her with the other one.
- Ward Cleaver: [Saturday night in the kitchen as Wally and Eddie are getting ready to leave for their dates] Well, what show are you fellas going to see tonight?
- Eddie Haskell: We're going to Spartacus. I'm quite a student of history and I'd like to see if there are any inaccuracies.
- Ward Cleaver: Oh. Well, don't you let Kirk Douglas get away with anything, Eddie.
- Ward Cleaver: [Saturday night in the kitchen right after dinner] What are you planning to do tonight, Beave?
- Theodore Cleaver: Well, I think I'll watch television tonight. There's more guys that get killed than any other night in the week.
- Eddie Haskell: [Addressing the Cleavers as he and Wally are heading out on their Saturday night dates] Yes, good night, Mr. Cleaver. Good night, Mrs. Cleaver. Good night, little fellow.
- [Beaver has already done his homework and can't think of anything else to do, so he is singing absent-mindedly on his bed]
- Theodore Cleaver: Alouette, gentle alouette. Alouette, gentle boomerang.
- June Cleaver: Oh Ward, wouldn't it be nice when the semester changes on Monday if Eddie ended up in a different homeroom from Wally?
- Ward Cleaver: Yeah. Or in a different state.
- Wally Cleaver: [June hands Wally the phone, with Julie Foster on the line] Uh, hello, Julie? Uh, no, no, that wasn't anybody. It was just my mom.